> Well,
>
> My mom and I are moving to Tennessee, because of my parents' divorce and everything. Once we're there, we're thinking about adopting a boy, perhaps somewhere between 5 and 11 years old. Nothing's set in stone yet, so that could change.
>
> In fact, we might not even adopt at all. It's just a good idea at this point.
>
> In any case... I just wanted to know if anyone knew something about adopting. The whole process is confusing to me, and I would be grateful if someone could explain it to me with some kind of detail.
>
> -z"Yes, I'm writing this while in Michigan. Greetings from there! Yay, vacation!"K

I don't know a lot about the adoption process in the US... most of the people I know with adopted kids adopted from overseas. I know it's a lot harder to adopt domestically, though probably easier if you're looking for an older child rather than a newborn.

I do know lots of families who have adopted kids though, at varying ages, and I would counsel you and your mother to wait a couple of years before bringing a new kid into the family. Your family is already undergoing a huge and strenuous transition right now, and to add another abrupt change would be very tough to handle, for you and for the new kid.

Older children put up for adoption usually have some kind of trauma in their background. It's wonderful to want to reach out and give them a loving family, but you've got to make sure your family is stable enough to really provide the kind of security and patient love they will need. Right after a divorce, to my mind, is not the best time to do this. Even with a child that hasn't had a traumatic background, the adjustment into a new family tends to be tough... much harder when it's a kid who's already undergone, at the very least, the pain and dislocation of losing their parents and other caretakers.

I hope this doesn't discourage you... I think adoption is a wonderful thing, and I wish more people were willing to open their families to lost children-- but it is a huge commitment and a huge challenge. And I don't want you and your mom to take that on before you've had time to emotionally heal from the divorce. To do that would be no service to you or to the child.

Tennessee's a really pretty state, by the way. I miss Nashville...

Lire"my seventy-two cents"lyn