> Of course, I did mean what I said. It's true, I don't want to miss out on an opportunity to be a brother to someone. I think it'd be an awesome thing.

That's not a bad thing to want. :) Don't feel bad for it, please. Hopefully you will have the opportunity to have that experience, whenever it happens, and you'll all three be happier for it.

And an unsolicited comment: My brothers and sisters are all a generation older than me (I'm 20; they're 39, 45 and 47). We don't have the typical sibling rivalry that stems from growing up together, but we are close and we do all love each other. Don't feel that if your mother ends up adopting later than you expected that you won't get to be as much of a big bro as if she'd adopted sooner -- you'll still be close, you'll still love the new kid and you'll still *all* be a family.

I'm also sorry if I came off at all condescending in my post. You are going through a lot right now; you need support. Please continue to seek it! You seem like a smart and cool guy, and I'm confident you'll pull through everything. :) Please continue to feel better, both you and your mother.

> -zK

Ria