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Return of the King review (with Spoilers)
Posted By: Issachar, on host 143.127.131.4
Date: Monday, December 29, 2003, at 11:34:30

Avast! Here be SPOILERS of the most spoilerish sort. Advance at peril of your own education!

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** The Opening Scene **
_Fellowship_ opened with an epic battle. _Towers_ opened with a Gandalf vs. Balrog duel. The third movie opened on a quieter but more eerie and disturbing note, and I loved the contrast. I liked the way Andy Serkis begins trying to grab the Ring from Deagol with a smile, as if it's just a friendly game, but the smile completely fails to mask the seriousness of the emerging struggle or the lengths to which he's prepared to go. Very effective. Mrs. Iss objected that this scene makes the Ring's corrupting influence seem *too* powerful and sudden, and I agree that that's a rational argument. But it sure made for great cinema.

** The Palantir **
Though this scene was handled a bit differently than in the book, I liked it. Still, the movie didn't make all the implications of that info-exchange with Sauron as clear as I'd have liked. It didn't really deal with the revelation of Aragorn to Sauron, or the situation with Saruman, or the Ring's presumed whereabouts. But it was a good Pippin scene. "Why do you *always* have to look?" "I don't know! I can't help it!"

** Denethor **
I appreciated the attention the movie paid to Denethor's favoritism between his sons. But that was about the only thing I liked about the treatment of the character. Otherwise, he came off like a plain villain instead of a tragic figure. Denethor is weighed down by many cares and responsibilities, and is cursed rather than helped by the information he gains from his Palantir (not in the film). He sees the fall of Gondor as inescapable, and it drives him to despair and eventual madness. The movie made an awkward stab at that, but I felt it never really worked. Also, it was out of character for Gandalf -- *twice*, no less -- to beat up the ruler of Gondor and then assume command. And finally, just how long *does* it take for a person doused in oil to catch fire while lying atop a burning pyre? Gandalf and Pip must have been acting in Bullet Time.™

** Shelob **
This is one of the best scenes in the entire trilogy. I can't find any fault with it whatsoever. When Sam finally drove Shelob back into her hole I shouted out "Sam -- you tha MAN!!!" Other moviegoers agreed. :-)

** The Paths of the Dead **
Although I always imagined the dead army as a sort of gray, indistinct force that conquered through fear rather than engaging in actual melee, I still dug PJ's version pretty well. The throwaway background shot of the dead dogpiling on an Oliphaunt and bringing it crashing down was one of those "oh...my...gawd" moments. And for some reason I find the inscription at the entrance to the Paths of the Dead satisfyingly chilling, and was glad for its inclusion: "The way is shut. It was made by those who are dead, and the dead keep it. The way is shut."

** The Battle of the Pellenor Fields **
I liked the nuclear-mutant orc field commander, and his stylish show of contempt for the opposition. The charge of the Rohirrim ("DEATH! DEAATH!") was one of those emotional-rush moments where you marvel at the heroism of Rohan's people, and then your eyes pop out as they absolutely mow down the entire orcish army. Watching that scene, I probably looked a lot like Wormtongue did during Saruman's great call to war, only with eyebrows.

In the book, the Nazgul's primary role seems to be breaking enemy morale. Here, they 0WnZ j00. Good for PJ, giving a reason why these guys make Gondorian soldiers crap in their chainmail.

The confrontation between Eowyn and the Witch-King didn't satisfy me for some reason, even though they played it pretty close to the book. I don't know, maybe the level of Girl-power!™ in the movie version took something away from the heroism of Eowyn's deed in itself. The farewell scene between Eowyn and Theoden didn't strike quite the right note in me either, but again I'm uncertain why.

Rohirrim vs. the Oliphaunts: what in the world were they thinking? Pull back and let the catapults and archers deal with those guys! Or, charge right past the big suckers and mop up the rest of the retreating infantry! Geez!

Legolas vs. the Oliphaunt: didn't annoy me as much as I would've thought. I guess I was pretty well prepared for this sort of thing by the rest of his stunts in the preceding movies.

** Sam Rescues Frodo from the Orcs **
The movie took a weak plot point in the book and made it even weaker. It was silly when Tolkien had most of his orcs conveniently kill each other off in advance of Sam's arrival; the film gives even less justification and audience preparation for it. One moment there's a fight between an orc and a Uruk, and the next moment Sam's walking into a tower strewn with orc corpses. At least there was a good scene showing Sam becoming the only person besides Bilbo to voluntarily give up the Ring, after a visible effort to master his own will.

** The Rest of the Story **
The segment beginning with the post-battle council in Minas Tirith and ending with Frodo and Sam's arrival at the Cracks of Doom suffers from the same severe "time-and-distance-compression" effect that put me off _Fellowship_ for awhile at the beginning. It appears to take all of five minutes for Gondor's army to march from their capital city to the Black Gate, and for every orc in Mordor to clear out of the cracked plains and mass behind the Gate. I dearly hope they add something -- anything -- in the extended DVD to increase the perception that more time has elapsed.

The "Spotlight of Sauron" seemed to me a lamentably necessary visual effect. There's just no good way to convey the sense of psychological pressure when the Eye is upon you, so I figure the spotlight was an okay substitute. But how long does Sauron have to look at two hobbits standing in the middle of Mordor before he actually *sees* them?

The final struggle up the slope of Mount Doom, and the ultimate destruction of the Ring, was almost perfect. I loved how Gollum's exultant joy in recovering his "precious" made him oblivious to his imminent death as he fell. But I thought it *sucked* that he then proceeded to take something like five slow seconds to actually sink into the lava, and *still* doesn't register any awareness of what's happening. Sheesh. I also thought the whole Frodo-dangling-over-the-Crack-of-Doom bit was awfully Hollywoodish, but for a gratuitous rescue scene, it was okay.

There's not much to say about the denouement. It was long, and I had to go to the bathroom *really bad* by then, but I wouldn't leave anything out of it, except maybe a few minutes of hobbits bouncing on the bed and girls in the audience sighing over a freshly cleaned-up Orlando Bloom.

I've left out comments on bunches of minor points, but that's what the thread is for, right?

Iss "these last pages are for you" achar

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