My two cents: If your friends are the sorts of people who will try to drag you into the middle of all the drama for their own benefit, rather than do their best to keep you out of the drama for your sake, they may not be the sort of "friends" you want to keep around at all.

I have to note that I've only been out of high school for two years, but I've kept most of my closest friendships from that time -- and even gotten a bit closer to one girl in the time since. That's about four people who I would still call good friends even though I know at least I have gone through some major, major changes since graduation.

We don't talk to each other every day. But when I visit home and we can go out to Starbucks or wherever, we pick right back up -- not with the same conversations -- but the same bond, to be cliche about things. I honestly feel as close to them now as I did when we were all still running around campus together every day. I know I can turn to them if I ever need them, and I feel absolutely comfortable saying I would if I ever did need. And all the same for them.

Beyond that, I've lost contact with everyone. Even just in two years. (Even with the advent of Myspace and many graduating classmates on my "friends" list.) I'm sure we'd all be friendly were we to meet each other again, but there's no relationship at all. That's OK. There doesn't need to be one -- I had no obligation to them just because I was in class with them every day.

In fact, I purposefully cut off contact with one girl who I did call a "friend" after we graduated because the relationship was not a healthy one -- she was melodramatic, inconsiderate, and generally not pleasant to be around. She was the sort who would get in a big fight with someone else and expect me to "be on her side" and "help her out." She was the one who chewed me out for standing her up one day even *AFTER* finding out it was because I almost had to go to the ER. I had no desire to keep in contact with her.

People talk about realizing who their "true friends" are based on the way those friends treat them, as compared to the way their former friends treat them, after they go through a hardship of some sort. My philosophy in relationships is not to wait for the hardship to figure out who the former sort are. I believe you can tell by how they treat you in general. If they put you before themselves, consistently, if they're helpful and loving, they'll be likely to be there for you through bad times, or even just after a span of time with little contact with each other. If, however, they tend to be self-centered, to be quick to use you for whatever gain of theirs but have little to offer you in return, to lack consideration for your views, needs, etc. -- then that relationship probably isn't going to be the best for either of you in the long run.

I believe I was lucky to have such good friends who have remained with me at least this long. I know it's not the case for most people.

Or maybe I just view things through rose-colored glasses. :) I tend to want to see the best in people, which could be coloring my views here.

Don't worry too much about it. Try to stay out of this drama (and future ones) the best you can. If the relationships fail because of it -- then I hate to break it to you, but they weren't going to last in the long run anyway. The people who will be the best for you will be there for you and will be looking out for your best interest over theirs, not the other way around. Perhaps a little ironic or even hypocritical to look at things that way, but I can never advocate someone staying in a relationship that is obviously not being conducted in a healthy way.

Stay socially active, though. I've been a hermit. It's miserable. :)

Hopefully you'll be escaping all this soon. Unfortunately, college isn't that much better (although it is some). Nor work, really -- human nature is what it is. Keep searching around; you'll find better friends in the end.

Ri "Sorry you're going through this" a