This chain of thought was triggered by reading a report on CNN about how university professors are increasingly getting pestered by parents about their children's grades, the same way school teachers do. It seemed even more incongruous from the way the students were called "children" throughout.

I always thought of leaving school, and going either to university or your first full-time job, as the time when there is no further doubt whatsoever that you are all grown up and responsible for your own actions. You're a *young* adult, sure, but when did being a young adult turn into being the same thing as an eternally delayed teenager?

I'm not talking about the CNN article so much as a wider trend I keep noticing, which this seems to be just one part of. When I was 11 or 12, I thought of 18 year olds as grownups. I *totally* would have thought of 25 year olds as grownups. Now I look at 25 year olds and even, God help us, 30 year olds, who appear to still be living as though they were 15, either not allowed or not willing to do anything without parental permission and guidance, not knowing the rudiments of independent living or ever having experienced much of life. Their interests and tastes are still those of a 15 year old; there's such a frightening lack of maturity and responsibility.

When I left school, I took a year off before starting university. I worked for six months to raise the money, and then went and travelled around overseas on my own for the other six months. I was 17. At the time, this didn't strike anybody I knew as being an exotic, dangerous or scary thing for a 17 or 18 year old to do. Virtually everybody I knew my age had
done, or was doing, similar things. Most of them went to England or Europe, much further away from home than me (I went to the USA). Now, I know people older than I was then, who can't or won't spend a weekend outside their own town because it's too exotic, dangerous and scary. Or because their parents don't like them doing it. What happened in the meantime? Why are people staying this young for this long? And don't tell me it's because the world has got more dangerous since 1989. Whether or not it has, my point is that adults are expected to cope with *living* in it, and once upon a time these people would have been considered adults and not children.

I can see that a lot of this might come through the increased cost of living and especially of education. Certainly in America, I doubt any 18 year old can pay their own way through university unless they get a big scholarship. Even here, where it's possible to pay your own tuition if you work like hell and you're lucky, most people would find it difficult. Even in 1989 I couldn't have done my degree if my parents hadn't let me live at home rent-free until I was 22, and tuition costs have gone up a LOT since then. So, OK, you're still financially dependent on your parents until you're in your early to mid 20s, and still living at home during that time.

I think this makes it difficult for both generations. As long as you're living in your parents' house, you're a child, even if you're old enough to have had a house and five kids by then, if you came from a less fortunate generation (or a third-world country). I know in my own case, putting up with being treated like a child was the tradeoff for living rent-free. I
didn't like it, but I was glad to have had the choice.

It just seems like an increasing number of people in this situation take the path of least resistance, and get into the habit of delayed childhood. These people aren't forced to grow up and mature by circumstances, so they don't bother to do it themselves. These days, people buy houses, marry and have kids much later in life too, for all sorts of reasons. I think this is a factor too.

Maybe with higher standards of living and social changes, we are gradually evolving some sort of extended adolescence. It just niggles at me a bit, and I'm not even sure why.

I would be interested to hear from people both younger than me and older than me on this one. I'd particularly like to hear from Howard. Is this just something you naturally start thinking and it's just your imagination? ("And another thing, back when I was your age, I was OLDER!") I don't think it can be entirely imaginary, though.

Brunnen-"believe it or not, that was the shortened version"G