I wrote this big long forum post about movies, see, and somehow managed to close my browser tab before I posted it. So that's what sucks. Stephen's all complaining at me to retype it, but I'm all "I spent an hour typing that and I don't really want to do it again." So I might do it later. But, then, I doubt that anyone wants to read an hour-long movie critique when one could hit one's head with a rake instead, so maybe I'll not bother. But I'll retype some of the jokes and stuff and get the same point across.

I decided that, in honour of the upcoming release of The Two Towers, it was about time for me to see Fellowship of the Ring. So I went out and bought the four-disc set, and I watched it (Just so you know, the brunt of the original post was my critique of this film - this repost will be slashed down anything I think is funny).

The best performances in the film were Ian Holm as Bilbo, and Christopher Lee as Saruman. They're both excellent. The worst performance I had figured out from the first time I saw the cast list for this film, and Liv Tyler did not fail to live down to my expectations. I did like that one scene where she bugs her eyes way out, though; it reminded me of John Steiner. She should play Jaffar's daughter in the upcoming Sinbad of the Seven Seas part 2: The Revenge of Basra. Just so long as she just bugged her eyes out and didn't try to act, she'd be fine.

The Moria scenes were excellent, and Boromir managed to steal not only the scene but the entire film with his delivery of the line "they have a cave troll." Beautiful.

Speaking of the cave troll, that thing is mad tough. Most things, after they've been shot a few times IN THE EYE, they'll at least start to have some trouble seeing. Not that cave troll, though. The whole time they were fighting it, I was thinking "guys, you need fire or acid to beat that thing! Otherwise, it'll regenerate 3hp/rd!" I suppose if Anduril, Flame of the West actually does fire damage, they'd be okay.

That'll do for retyping my jokes, I think. Maybe I'll fix it tomorrow. I talked a bit about other upcoming films, though, including one that I think is worth rementioning:

Extreme Ops. You seen the ads for this one yet? I'm thinking, it's about time the dumbest movie of the year came out. Nothing says "quality" like a movie that features terrorism, special ops, extreme sports, helicopter battles, and outrunning disasters, and ties them all up into a plot about the end of the world. And that's just what they show in the commercials. I'm willing to be the film also has sex, snappy one-liners, crash chords, pig-headed men, liberated women, the tyranny of big business, and some sappy environmentalism. It reminds me of the scene from Steve Martin's "Leap of Faith" where all the other people are coming up with the most bizarre things they can think of, and Steve has to work them into his sermon somehow. I sometimes think these movies are thought up the same way.