Or something. I've been puzzling over this phenomenon for a while now, and it's just occurred to me that this may be a good place to get insights on it.

Every so often, I am seized by what I can best describe as emotional restlessness. I will feel a powerful longing that seems to come from nowhere, and I have no idea what will ease it. I can't stand to be in my room any longer, so I'll go out and take a walk, or just pace up and down my hall. Sometimes I hope someone will see me and ask what's going on, and sometimes I just want to be alone with my funk. As I'm wandering, I'll try to analyze myself and figure out what is causing this, but I usually can't find any plausible cause, and meantime the emotions become more and more intense until I either a) write something, b) find a piano and play it, or c) end up crying uncontrollably, but also laughing every so often in the midst of it because part of me is standing back and thinking how weird it is that I should be crying uncontrollably for no particular reason.

This doesn't happen when there's something bad going on in my life. One reason I laugh in the middle of my crying is that anyone seeing me would think I was unhappy, or upset, when really I'm not. Often I'm quite happy... just shaken by an inexplicable sobbing fit. I don't understand it, and it kind of weirds me out. This never happened before last year; I suffered most of the usual adolescent angst, but there was always a specific problem I could put my finger on then. It only began about halfway through my first semester of college. And it tends to come and go in blocks: I'll have a long bout of general creative moodiness, punctuated by these outbursts, and then it'll go away and not bother me for months.

No one I know has told me of having any kind of similar experience, and looking at my friends I don't think most of them probably have. But I'm wondering if anyone here has experienced anything like this, or can shed any light on it. All thoughts and insights are appreciated.

Lire"really am mostly sane, as far as I know"lyn