Breaking up isn't hard to do, I've realised - it's not sneaking a look at your watch whilst doing so. That's the difficult bit.

A few days ago I found myself round at my (now ex-) girlfriends' flat, while she conversationally skirted around the perimeter of my imminent dumping. It took her a little over two hours to get to the point and when she did I got this drawn out "It's not you, it's me" speech which had me cringing internally.

I did have the presence of mind to look suitably devastated despite the heavy telegraphing of her intent, and didn't say anything nasty, spiteful, ill-advised, or rude, so bonus points for my side. I think it's important not to offend dumpers (or indeed, dumpees for that matter) so that they give you a good review in the ensuing gossip that inevitably occurs between your mutual acquaintances.

What I really wanted to ask her, though, was why she felt it necessary to "let me down gently" with such a cliched statement? Why couldn't she just be honest and say "Look, it's been fun but I fancy a change, and it involves you leaving and not coming back. Thanks for dinner, by the way."?

Odd as it sounds, I would have been less insulted by that.

Is this an odd thing? Is it too much to think that you can enter into a relationship with another person without suddenly having to walk on eggshells around them for fear that you might say the wrong thing? God forbid I should ever see someone for who they really are, and likewise I should be equally careful not to let my carefully crafted facade of "cool, responsible, never troubled, totally together guy" slip and let her see the human being beneath.

Gah. I'm swearing off of women. At least, until the next one comes along.

Bo"Cynical? Me? Never."urne