Message Forum: How To Tell If You Aren't A Rinkie

How To Tell If You Aren't A Rinkie

Posted By: Sam, on host 24.61.193.11
Date: Sunday, September 29, 2002, at 21:18:09

There are a lot of people going around calling themselves Rinkies these days. It's getting so anybody can be called a Rinkie just by hanging around here long enough. We've got to keep the riffraff out of here, I say, and so, as if to retroactively affirm previously false suspicions that being a "Rinkie" involved stringent yet secret entrance requirements, I have come up with a set of questions designed to separate the 733t from the 74m3r. Conform or leave.

1. Have you ever said "cemetary," "putrifaction," "dispensible," or "flabberghast"? If so, you are NOT A RINKIE. Real Rinkies know how to spell words correctly.

2. Have you ever said "ToA," "PoA," or "GoA"? If so, you are NOT A RINKIE. Real Rinkies do not spell acronyms correctly.

3. If I made a typo in this post, are you going to post a reply and accuse me of violating rule #1? If so, you are NOT A RINKIE. Real Rinkies don't suck.

4. Have you ever thought of Ralph Bakshi without thinking of kicking him in the privates? If so, you are NOT A RINKIE. In fact, if you don't know who Ralph Bakshi is, you are NOT A RINKIE. Real Rinkies know who Ralph Bakshi is and hate him.

5. Do you drink alcohol? If so, you are NOT A RINKIE. Consuming alcohol severely limits your capacity for logging into RinkChat and laughing at all the people who type like they've been consuming alcohol. Real Rinkies drink life, not booze, or, at least, they drink what lives they have. Ha, ha! I am just joshing. Real Rinkies understand that there truly IS life on a web site, but they don't forget how insidious that sounds. Therefore, if you didn't laugh at my little joke, you are NOT A RINKIE. Real Rinkies find me funny.

6. Do you know what American Smarties and British Smarties are? If you think they are the same thing, or you do not know what one or the other or both are, you are NOT A RINKIE. Real Rinkies have discussed Smarties in meticulous detail, weighing the pros and cons of each kind, on at least half a dozen separate occasions. No self-respecting Real Rinkie would be caught dead without all facts about Smarties on hand in preparation for any moment where the subject might come up.

7. Do you know what /act does? If your name is, for example, Hebetude, and.... Wait, hang on. If your name is Hebetude, you are an AUTOMATIC REAL RINKIE. But, ok, so if your name is, I dunno, Bernie, and you go into RinkChat and say things like, "* is annoyed by Bernie," then, I'm sorry, our finkrink detector has caught you, and you are NOT A REAL RINKIE.

8. If you just went and registered "Hebetude" in RinkChat, you are NOT A REAL RINKIE.

9. If you talk about politics, that's ok. If you talk about food, that's ok. If a conversation about politics evolves to a conversation about food, that's ok. If a conversation about food evolves to a conversation about politics, you are NOT A REAL RINKIE. Real Rinkies are addicted to food so irrevocably that if they don't get enough food, they actually die from withdrawal. Consequently, Real Rinkies always eventually get onto the subject of food, and they are loath to leave it.

10. If I say something in RinkChat, and you say, "AAAAAH, A GHOST!" then you are NOT A REAL RINKIE. Real Rinkies did this like eight years ago and tucked that little bit of cleverness away in the "done" bucket.

11. Do you think TOM's name is Tom? It is not. If you thought it was, then, well, it doesn't make much difference, because it truly does not matter if you know what TOM's real name is. I mean, any guy that formulates an entire screen name based on what name somebody he doesn't even know was already using is PRETTY WEIRD.

12. Have you ever made a mistake? If so, you are NOT A REAL RINKIE. Real Rinkies do not make mistakes, although occasionally they fake them once in a while in consideration of other people's inferiority complexes, but they never actually make mistakes, such as that time I didn't screw up a BuzzBot question by saying the forbidden word "looks," despite appearances.

13. Did you catch on to that pun in the previous question about "looks" and "appearances"? If so, you are NOT A REAL RINKIE. That was purely unintentional; Real Rinkies do not make puns.

14. Do you pronounce "Liface" as "Lie-face"? If so, you are a REAL RINKIE. Real Rinkies ignore the fact that the pronunciation preferred by Liface himself is "Lee-face."

15. Do you pronounce "Mensekemeser" as "Men-see-keh-mee-ser"? If so, you are NOT A REAL RINKIE. Real Rinkies do not pronounce his name at all.

16. Are you afraid to tell your family about RinkWorks? If you are unafraid, you are NOT A REAL RINKIE. Real Rinkies are terrified of telling their family and friends about RinkWorks, because it means they will have to say things like, "RinkWorks is this web site where there are a lot of great people! I flew 3,000 miles to a RinkWorks Convention! This one Rinkie named ah-m'o-"aa-c'a' brought a brain, and Gremlin ate it, and we all laughed and took pictures."

17. Can you pronounce "ah-m'o-"aa-c'a'"? If so, you are NOT A REAL RINKIE. Not even SHE can pronounce it.

18. Burger King. Did you just think of a fast-food place? If so, you are NOT A REAL RINKIE.

19. Monkey. Mouse. Unipeg. Did you just think of animals? If so, you are NOT A REAL RINKIE. In fact, Real Rinkies cannot even TYPE the word "mouse" without backspacing over a wayward "i" that somehow got in there.

20. Do you like tater tot casserole? If not, you are NOT A REAL RINKIE. Real Rinkies eat tater tot casserole at least four times a day, or, at least, whenever they aren't eating Jaffas, and if you don't eat Jaffas you are NOT A REAL RINKIE, and if you don't know what Jaffas are, you are DEFINITELY NOT A REAL RINKIE, and if you don't know what Jaffa Cakes are, you are NOT A REAL RINKIE EITHER, and if you wash it all down with Moxie, you are a MAN TEEMING WITH VIRILITY but you're definitely NOT A REAL RINKIE, but if you don't know what Moxie is you are NOT A REAL RINKIE. Real Rinkies eat tater tot casserole, Jaffas, and wash it all down with not Moxie.

21. I am tired by so much late. Wait a second! Did you misread that sentence!? Did I misplace a word or something!? If you had to reread it to make sure I actually said what you think you read, you are NOT A REAL RINKIE.

This concludes the new standard requirements for Rinkiehood. Nobody gets grandfathered in, so I think that pretty much narrows the list of Rinkies down to about zero people, which suits me fine, because "Rinkie" is about as 733t as it gets, and we can't have just anyone going around laming up the term, too bad for all you suckers out there, ha ha.

I'm going to bed.

Replies To This Message

Re: How To Tell If You Aren't A Rinkie - ah-m'o-''aa-c'a' - Tue, 10/1/2002, 12:58:02
- Re: How To Tell If You Aren't A Rinkie - Sam - Tue, 10/1/2002, 13:04:31
  - Re: How To Tell If You Aren't A Rinkie - Dracimas - Tue, 10/1/2002, 14:05:25
  - Re: How To Tell If You Aren't A Rinkie - ah-m'o-''aa-c'a' - Tue, 10/1/2002, 13:20:59
    - Re: How To Tell If You Aren't A Rinkie - ah-m'o-''aa-c'a' - Tue, 10/1/2002, 13:23:11
Re: How To Tell If You Aren't A Rinkie - Minamoon - Mon, 9/30/2002, 19:37:55
Re: How To Tell If You Aren't A Rinkie - Darien - Mon, 9/30/2002, 13:23:38
Re: How To Tell If You Aren't A Rinkie - Ferrick - Mon, 9/30/2002, 11:38:21
- Re: How To Tell If You Aren't A Rinkie - Sam - Mon, 9/30/2002, 14:37:54
Re: How To Tell If You Aren't A Rinkie - Issachar - Mon, 9/30/2002, 07:54:32
- Re: How To Tell If You Aren't A Rinkie - Stephen - Mon, 9/30/2002, 08:22:33

Post a Reply

RinkChat Username:
Password:
Email:		(optional)
Subject:
Message:	> There are a lot of people going around calling themselves Rinkies these days. It's getting so anybody can be called a Rinkie just by hanging around here long enough. We've got to keep the riffraff out of here, I say, and so, as if to retroactively affirm previously false suspicions that being a "Rinkie" involved stringent yet secret entrance requirements, I have come up with a set of questions designed to separate the 733t from the 74m3r. Conform or leave. > > 1. Have you ever said "cemetary," "putrifaction," "dispensible," or "flabberghast"? If so, you are NOT A RINKIE. Real Rinkies know how to spell words correctly. > > 2. Have you ever said "ToA," "PoA," or "GoA"? If so, you are NOT A RINKIE. Real Rinkies do not spell acronyms correctly. > > 3. If I made a typo in this post, are you going to post a reply and accuse me of violating rule #1? If so, you are NOT A RINKIE. Real Rinkies don't suck. > > 4. Have you ever thought of Ralph Bakshi without thinking of kicking him in the privates? If so, you are NOT A RINKIE. In fact, if you don't know who Ralph Bakshi is, you are NOT A RINKIE. Real Rinkies know who Ralph Bakshi is and hate him. > > 5. Do you drink alcohol? If so, you are NOT A RINKIE. Consuming alcohol severely limits your capacity for logging into RinkChat and laughing at all the people who type like they've been consuming alcohol. Real Rinkies drink life, not booze, or, at least, they drink what lives they have. Ha, ha! I am just joshing. Real Rinkies understand that there truly IS life on a web site, but they don't forget how insidious that sounds. Therefore, if you didn't laugh at my little joke, you are NOT A RINKIE. Real Rinkies find me funny. > > 6. Do you know what American Smarties and British Smarties are? If you think they are the same thing, or you do not know what one or the other or both are, you are NOT A RINKIE. Real Rinkies have discussed Smarties in meticulous detail, weighing the pros and cons of each kind, on at least half a dozen separate occasions. No self-respecting Real Rinkie would be caught dead without all facts about Smarties on hand in preparation for any moment where the subject might come up. > > 7. Do you know what /act does? If your name is, for example, Hebetude, and.... Wait, hang on. If your name is Hebetude, you are an AUTOMATIC REAL RINKIE. But, ok, so if your name is, I dunno, Bernie, and you go into RinkChat and say things like, "* is annoyed by Bernie," then, I'm sorry, our finkrink detector has caught you, and you are NOT A REAL RINKIE. > > 8. If you just went and registered "Hebetude" in RinkChat, you are NOT A REAL RINKIE. > > 9. If you talk about politics, that's ok. If you talk about food, that's ok. If a conversation about politics evolves to a conversation about food, that's ok. If a conversation about food evolves to a conversation about politics, you are NOT A REAL RINKIE. Real Rinkies are addicted to food so irrevocably that if they don't get enough food, they actually die from withdrawal. Consequently, Real Rinkies always eventually get onto the subject of food, and they are loath to leave it. > > 10. If I say something in RinkChat, and you say, "AAAAAH, A GHOST!" then you are NOT A REAL RINKIE. Real Rinkies did this like eight years ago and tucked that little bit of cleverness away in the "done" bucket. > > 11. Do you think TOM's name is Tom? It is not. If you thought it was, then, well, it doesn't make much difference, because it truly does not matter if you know what TOM's real name is. I mean, any guy that formulates an entire screen name based on what name somebody he doesn't even know was already using is PRETTY WEIRD. > > 12. Have you ever made a mistake? If so, you are NOT A REAL RINKIE. Real Rinkies do not make mistakes, although occasionally they fake them once in a while in consideration of other people's inferiority complexes, but they never actually make mistakes, such as that time I didn't screw up a BuzzBot question by saying the forbidden word "looks," despite appearances. > > 13. Did you catch on to that pun in the previous question about "looks" and "appearances"? If so, you are NOT A REAL RINKIE. That was purely unintentional; Real Rinkies do not make puns. > > 14. Do you pronounce "Liface" as "Lie-face"? If so, you are a REAL RINKIE. Real Rinkies ignore the fact that the pronunciation preferred by Liface himself is "Lee-face." > > 15. Do you pronounce "Mensekemeser" as "Men-see-keh-mee-ser"? If so, you are NOT A REAL RINKIE. Real Rinkies do not pronounce his name at all. > > 16. Are you afraid to tell your family about RinkWorks? If you are unafraid, you are NOT A REAL RINKIE. Real Rinkies are terrified of telling their family and friends about RinkWorks, because it means they will have to say things like, "RinkWorks is this web site where there are a lot of great people! I flew 3,000 miles to a RinkWorks Convention! This one Rinkie named ah-m'o-"aa-c'a' brought a brain, and Gremlin ate it, and we all laughed and took pictures." > > 17. Can you pronounce "ah-m'o-"aa-c'a'"? If so, you are NOT A REAL RINKIE. Not even SHE can pronounce it. > > 18. Burger King. Did you just think of a fast-food place? If so, you are NOT A REAL RINKIE. > > 19. Monkey. Mouse. Unipeg. Did you just think of animals? If so, you are NOT A REAL RINKIE. In fact, Real Rinkies cannot even TYPE the word "mouse" without backspacing over a wayward "i" that somehow got in there. > > 20. Do you like tater tot casserole? If not, you are NOT A REAL RINKIE. Real Rinkies eat tater tot casserole at least four times a day, or, at least, whenever they aren't eating Jaffas, and if you don't eat Jaffas you are NOT A REAL RINKIE, and if you don't know what Jaffas are, you are DEFINITELY NOT A REAL RINKIE, and if you don't know what Jaffa Cakes are, you are NOT A REAL RINKIE EITHER, and if you wash it all down with Moxie, you are a MAN TEEMING WITH VIRILITY but you're definitely NOT A REAL RINKIE, but if you don't know what Moxie is you are NOT A REAL RINKIE. Real Rinkies eat tater tot casserole, Jaffas, and wash it all down with not Moxie. > > 21. I am tired by so much late. Wait a second! Did you misread that sentence!? Did I misplace a word or something!? If you had to reread it to make sure I actually said what you think you read, you are NOT A REAL RINKIE. > > This concludes the new standard requirements for Rinkiehood. Nobody gets grandfathered in, so I think that pretty much narrows the list of Rinkies down to about zero people, which suits me fine, because "Rinkie" is about as 733t as it gets, and we can't have just anyone going around laming up the term, too bad for all you suckers out there, ha ha. > > I'm going to bed.
Link URL:		(optional)
Link Title:		(optional)

Make sure you read our message forum policy before posting.