Prenatal and second-hand smoke does lead to lots of health problems for the little ones (low birth rates, chronic ear/respiratory infections), but I don't know that there is any link with cancer in early childhood. Before you think I am an apologist for the tobacco industry, let me add that since childhood I've had asthma attacks--some of them quite serious--when I'm around too much second-hand smoke.

It's possible that the bereaved Mom turned to smoking only after her child died, as a way of coping with her grief. The death of a child almost always brings marital strain, too, so that may be another stressor. All those idle and stress-filled hours at the hospital may also have been a contributing factor in her starting or worsening a smoking habit.

Grief can do strange things to people, and self-destructive behaviors are not uncommon. I can't help but wonder if there's not a "Hey God, why not give me cancer too? At least I'll have done something to deserve it and be out of my misery" component to all this. So try not to judge her too harshly. Your anger may well indicate you were more affected by this tragedy than you realize, so if you were at all close to her, this might be a good time to reach out and offer your support.

Barb