#561

A man, a lawyer, a redneck, a nun, a blonde, a dog, and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

#562

Did you hear about the kidnapping down the street? His mother wouldn't wake him until 3.

#563

• Why did the mother of twins name both of her sons Edward?
• Because two Eds are better than one.

#564

• What did one teddy bear say to the other teddy bear when he offered him some dessert?
• No thanks, I'm stuffed.

#565

• Why did the computer squeak?
• Someone stepped on the mouse.

#566

Say, did you hear the one about the three holes in the ground? No? Well, well, well.

#567

• Can I ask you two questions?
• Ok, what's the second one?

#568

• Do you like warts?
• No.
• Don't worry. They'll grow on you.

#569

• What's green and sings?
• Elvis Parsley.

#570

• What happened when the teacher fell in the copier?
• She was beside herself.