The routine is familiar: when a student is late or absent from school, a
letter from the parents must be supplied for the absence to be excused.
Sometimes such letters suggest that the parents were excused from school
too many times in their own youth.
- "My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today.
Please execute him."
- "Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot."
- "Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30,
31, 32, and also 33."
- "Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating."
- "Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell
out of a tree and misplaced his hip."
- "John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face."
- "Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He
was hurt in the growing part."
- "Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered
by very close veins."
- "Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side."
- "Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels."
- "Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea,
and his boots leak."
- "Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust."
- "Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault."
- "Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to
get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday,
we thought it was Sunday."
- "Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her
- "My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a
weekend with the Marines."
- "Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and
could not breed well."
- "Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with
- "Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover."
- "Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor."
- "Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore
throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever,
and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all
over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must
be something going around, her father even got hot last night."
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