OK. Get ready. Brace yourself. With the Northeast flooded, we are going to get a lot of bad jokes, mostly comparing this emergency with the New Orleans fiasco. FEMA is going to be the butt of most of the jokes, and some will be downright victious.

Picture a group of FEMA suits sitting around their office in DC.

"We need to start thinking about what we are going to do about the floods."

"Well, Boss, we have pumps running in the basement right now. Can't you hear them?"

"First things first. But sooner or later we are going to have to do something about New York."

"OK, Boss. Next week would be a good time to send someone out to shop for trailers."

"Trailers! Man, this isn't Mississippi we're talking about. New York needs motor homes."

"Shouldn't we send some people up there to check things out? I hear there is water all over Pennsylvania, and maybe some of those little states up further north."

"How about the President? He could fly over in his 747 and give us an assessment. Pencil him in for Monday, and I'll clear it with his people."

"How about supplies?"

"Ice. I think it's summer up there. They need ice. Bottled water was popular in New Orleans. Send bottled water, too."

"Great! I'll get somebody to put gas in the trucks. Where is the nearest Wal-Mart?"

"Wal-mart? I'll organize a seach party and find one."

"It's 4:30 now. We can work on all of this in the morning. These people are white Northerners, so we need to get moving soon. I wonder if there is any way we can pin this on terrorists?"
Howard