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Re: In which I whine about my life
Posted By: Brunnen-G, on host 219.88.37.65
Date: Friday, November 8, 2002, at 14:58:50
In Reply To: In which I whine about my life posted by Rivikah on Friday, November 8, 2002, at 09:11:07:

Both your job problem and your accommodation problem are situations that I'm sure a lot of people here will identify with. It's unfortunate that you have to deal with both of them at once, because it doesn't give you the chance to use one area of your life to escape from the other. So I'm not surprised you are under stress.

About the job: you need to arrange a meeting with whoever is your *ultimate* supervisor (not the people you are having problems with, but whoever is above both them and you) and discuss the problems. I wouldn't focus too much on the "I sit around all day doing nothing" part, because I hate to tell you this, but that's what a HUGE number of office jobs are like. That's what my job is like. That's what at least four other jobs in my working life have been like.

The thing to remember is that they hired you to do this, knowing your capabilities and background, and they are (theoretically, at least) providing you with instruction on how to do the work, so *you* have no cause to worry about whether they think you are incompetent. If you are also being abused by the co-op advisor (and telling somebody under your supervision that they're stupid and will never get another job is abuse) then you need to see somebody in greater authority about it, immediately. Approach the issue so this person is aware that you want to do the job properly, and you want to get the *promised training* that will enable you to do this. If a trainer is provided for you, and then goes on holiday with no replacement, the fault is not yours if you can't do the job.

About the nasty flatmates: most people who have lived in rental accommodation have experienced something like this. I lived for a few months once with a woman who told me she was renting out a room to cover the rent because her boyfriend had left her -- after I moved in there, he turned out to mostly still be living there, and furthermore, he was a drug dealer and a violent abuser. I first found out about this one evening when I was alone in the house, when he showed up, went into the kitchen, smashed the windows and all the crockery, ripped the phone out, kicked a hole in the wall and stormed out again without saying a word or glancing in my direction. I was sitting in the living room paralysed with shock and wondering whether he was going to attack me. I was very young at the time and I didn't know how to deal with this, or what I could do to protect my flatmate from him. I later found out he had put her in hospital several times. I moved out of there, into the first place I called where the existing flatmates would accept me. The new place was old, nasty, mouldy, more expensive, and I had to park my car out on the street where it got broken into about twice a week, but in the circumstances I figured I could put up with that.

What I'm saying is, you have to figure out what your priorities are. You are living with a guy who is officially an orifice. If leaving a nice house with nasty flatmates would mean living in a hellhole with somebody more pleasant, you will just have to make a decision about that. Personally, I'd say move out. *shrug*

I hope things get better for you soon. Four months may seem like a long time when life sucks, but it will go by eventually. I don't think you're wrong to be getting stressed about it, or to vent some of that here.

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