I am feeling a bit awkward posting this. I almost feel that I have no business in such a serious thread, but what I have read so far has touched me and I need to post.

Having been exposed to very little *human* death I can't really speak from personal experience, but I can say what I would feel like if someone I loved opted for this way of death.

My parents and I have always had a strong relationship. My sister and brother and I have had the usual sibling rivalries, but there is a respect and a love there that is stronger than those rivalries. My wife and I have been married for 13 years this October, and we still hold hands in Wal-Mart, church, etc. And I have a great relationship with all 4 of my kids. But as well as I know these people, I don't know how they truly feel about themselves, deep inside where the pain happens, only they know that. All I know is what they have shown me, and if any one of them were to leave my life in such a wicked manner the void left behind would be extreme. Not only a part of my life would be missing, but a part of everything that I am or ever have been would have died with them. And worse of all, it would have been stolen by that person with no chance to ever get it back.

People have said that suicide is a cowardly way out. And while I agree, I must also add that it seems it would steal everything away from the survivors. How could that person ever be remembered for the good, when the end was so bad? How could there be good memories, knowing that the person in those memories didn't think they were good enough to live for?

I pray to God that I never have to face a time in my life where I have lost a loved one to circumstances like these. I pray that the relationships I have with my loved ones are as strong for them as they are for me. If only these people would have found someone to talk to about how they felt. Just one person they trusted enough to be able to talk about what it would mean to their family and friends if they were suddenly gone; suddenly dead by their own hand.

Again, I am not speaking from experience, and I don't want to over step the boundries, but I have to say that if anyone reading this thread is even considering such actions, please... *please*... PLEASE find someone, anyone to talk to who truly cares about you and your life. Consider the effects on your loved ones. Even if you feel that you have no loved ones, you are wrong! Someone cares about you, and you might not have even met them yet. It *is* possible to care deeply for someone you have never met, but if you take your own life it is a gurantee that you will *never* get to meet that person. There are help lines you can call to talk with people who care about you. There are ministers, priests, rabbis, and other religious leaders. There are hospitals and web sites. There are a host of ways for someone feeling alone and defeated to find someone who can help. And consider this, this thread was started because someone cared. The people at this forum care about everyone else here. That's what makes this such a special place. People who have never met, or have met only infrequently, come together and make this place happen. Talk to someone here
if you can't talk to anyone else... just find *someone*. Everyone who loves you deserves the chance to keep you around.