> When you were a kid, were you ever victimized either by a schoolyard bully or by a common street bully?

[snip]

> If you were ever the victim of a bully or bullies, when you were a kid, what is your reaction when you see the same bully or bullies now, when you are adults?

I was rarely actually bullied in school, though I was nerdy and got teased a lot. I do remember one or two instances of what I would call bullying, and I remember the dilemma I faced: it seemed that the most effective, even "righteous" thing to do would be to haul off and slug the obnoxious kid in the face, yet that would result in worse consequences for me than for the bully. I'd get bad stuff on my record and earn the disapproval of my parents, teachers and others. More was expected of me than of the bully, so there was more at stake and more to potentially lose. So I pretty much just suffered through it and was glad not to be one of the kids who *really* got picked on.

If I had it to do over again, knowing what I know now, I don't know if I'd hit back or not. Chances are I could avoid the situation in the first place. Certainly I don't think the fallout from punching a bully would be as dire as I used to imagine. But I don't think fighting back is warranted except in specific circumstances. It all depends...sigh.

Occasionally I wonder how I should counsel my future kids about these things.

Iss "passive fist" achar