The only way to learn how to write is to write. You can't expect to know how to play po...snooker expertly without practice, nor play a guitar beautifully without practice, and so on. Almost universally, accomplished writers give the advice to new writers: just write; don't worry about whether it's good or bad, just write.

I wrote close to 100 short stories in high school. The vast majority all stink, but the later ones are better than the earlier ones. When I finally did write my novel, the second half turned out to be dramatically better than the first half (which basically needs to be rewritten) just because I learned SO much about writing as I went. I'm sure I have more to learn, too, which I will discover as I write more.

One more thing:

> It's strange - the more you try to forget about things and lose yourself, then the more concentrated in your mind it becomes.

This might be part of the problem. The best writing comes when the author pours himself into it. It's like acting with words. Have you ever watched a method actor work? So some scene involves a character undergoing an emotional breakdown of some kind: in acting such a scene, many actors will recall past traumatic experiences in their lives and relive them. It's a myth that acting is all false. Some of it is, but a lot of the best acting is absolutely genuine, just channeled in a usable way.

Writing is (or can be) very similar. Some of the best writing comes from authors who are writing about things that hit close to home. The end result is deeply personal. If you feel unmasked, maybe a little insecure about showing what you write in this way to other people, that's probably a good sign.

So rather than try to escape your life when you write, you might try embracing it. Figure out what you have to say -- it's the mistake of many modern angsty poems to express emotions as an end rather than a means -- and then use every passion, every emotion, every feeling inside you, good or bad, to drive it home.

Basically, if you feel something, you stand a good chance of making others feel something with your words. If you're detached from it all and treating the writing of a story as a mechanical exercise, your readers are going to sense that too.