> What is up with the "RinkChat has become RinkDatingService" phenomenon?

If I think about the numbers and/or the specific people involved, I am blown away by how many lives RinkWorks has irrevocably changed.

But if I mentally detach the association between "my web site" and the nature of the community here, the only thing that surprises me is that the bathmat wasn't claimed sooner. Online romance is not at all limited to RinkWorks; more and more these days, relationships have their roots online. It's bizarre, but it makes sense. Online, we are not so guarded with each other. We're not inhibited (as we arguably should be) by physical presence and by speaking to someone who can meet your eyes. You have the power, online, to cut someone off in an instant, and/or to never meet, face to face, the people you're speaking to. All these things add up to people being willing to be deeply personal with others LONG before that would happen face to face.

Accompanying this very escalated course is something else: there are a lot of things we *don't* see when we're only interacting with someone online. The human imagination quite naturally idealizes those gaps. Even if the gaps aren't filled in with outright glamorized imaginings, our minds would at least not fill the gaps with flaws. So a grating mannerism, an arrogant tone of voice, or something else that would turn someone off in person yet which does not come through in ASCII won't turn someone else off right then. By the time the two people meet in person, the roles they play in each other's lives is already established.

I don't think it's particularly ever wise. Meeting online, meeting in person, spending time in person, and going from there makes sense (one of the couples you mentioned went that route), but getting involved with someone you've never met or only barely met is not smart.

Doesn't mean something good can't result from something unwise, and I won't argue with success, either. But I think the ones that don't get hurt are the lucky ones. Very lucky. Because as incredibly, amazingly well as you can know someone online, there is SO much -- looks, yes, but also manner, lifestyle, the way that person treats others -- that *cannot* be conveyed online, and more that even the *most* honest of people hide or gloss over things that would be immediately apparent in person.

The thing is, it takes knowing someone really well and getting burned to truly learn how well you can know someone and still have so much you don't know. Only then does a relationship with someone you think you know inside and out but have never met in person seem the least bit dangerous.

I guess that's why they call experience the best teacher.