> Then I said, "I think it is time for everyone to open their surprises!" and Leen said, "Yeah yeah yeah!" because she couldn't wait for everybody to open them, and Ellmyruh said, "Finally!" and everybody got a little bag and opened it, and it was

...uselessness, who greeted everyone cordially and was glad that Sam hadn't forgotten him after all, and he strided casually around the house sampling food and shaking hands in a very friendly manner that almost bordered on painful but wasn't quite that because it was so friendly, and besides, the cake was mighty tasty, so even if he *did* break a couple peoples' hands, at least they were distracted by the yummy flavor and didn't even notice that their wrists were twisted around twice and hanging limply besides their waists, fingers skewed grotesquely like fingertips in a late stage of osteoporosis or perhaps a gnarly tree branch, but a million times more distorted than either of those.

-useless"Sam's so great"ness