First off, a warning. This is a personal thing that could be considered self-pity by some, and selfish by most.

A little while ago, I had a revalation, an epiphany, a whatever. A thought. And since having this thought, I haven't been able to let it go. It has just grown inside, and now I have given in and decided to let it free.

The Rinkworks community is one of the best on the internet, and I am proud to have been a member of it. My thought was based on the fact that quality breeds popularity, and that now it is just too big. My first experience with the Rink community was early last year, around May-ish, when it was nowt but fields and there was only one chat room. There was a community of good friends, which I will refer to as the "hardcore" Rinkies. People like Mousie and Ellmyruh. I tried my best to fit in. Then the community started to grow.

This is wherein lies the problem; the community has just grown too big for me, and I think it has grown too big for itself too. The "hardcore" group has all but disappeared, making only the occasional appearance. Instead there is the "new" group, with Monkeyman and Travholt, to name two at random. The problem from my point of view is that I no longer know where I belong. I am known *of* by many, but known by few, and friends with even fewer. And with so many people around now, it is difficult to get to know people to the degree that you could all that time ago.

I can still remember my "crowning achievement" in Chat. I actually took part in a conversation with some of the hardcore group. Frankly, I can't see that happening again. There are just too many people to get to know now; I missed my chance last year when there were few enough people to actually count. I have always felt like an outsider, as those that knew me last year will know, and now things seem to be moving too fast to do anything about. It might surprise some of you to know that I actually went to the RinkUnion. I was the one standing around away from the huddles of people. The night before the RinkUnion, however, was something special. There were just a few of us, and we talked all evening. I may not have been the life of that get-together, but it was the only time I actually spoke and the only time I felt like I was involved. RU3? It can only be bigger.

In conclusion, what am I trying to say? What was the point of all this? I don't really know. You can make of it what you will. Do I plan to LEAVE RINKWROKS FOREVAR? I'd be lying if I said I wasn't considering it. Do I plan to hang around in RinkChat, being idle all the time? That's one thing I do not intend to do. I guess my choices are either to leave or to make stuff happen... and those that do know me will probably be able to guess which of those I'm more likely to do.

Matthew