Gah I need any help I can get I'm at my wit's end here!

Your ultimate goal for the day is to get out of school. Before you do, however, you're looking to get your bag out from the classroom where you left it.

That is, however, not the only thing going on in school today.

Mrs. Laurente has revealed herself to be some kind of a secret agent. She's asked you to get for her the fingerprints of Mr. Martin, computer lab technician, and the tooth marks of Mr. Crasto, librarian.

There's a major fight going on between two English teachers on the girls' side, and you've got to find someone to help you stop it before the teachers kill each other!

You've been assigned to take care of a class of younger students. The class is wild, and you're struggling to figure out what to do to keep them quiet.

You've uncovered a major power struggle in the Chemistry Department, where Mrs. Desai is brewing a V potion to give her full control of the lab. She's asked you to get for her gold, methanoic acid, and nitrochalk.

The teachers in the physics lab have built a time machine, and they want you to go back in time to get some "dead organic matter." All you've really learned so far is that they definitely do not want leaves. *I also have to sharpen the scalpel (spoilers wanted here!)*

You've met the website team, and they're looking to improve the school site. They've officially adopted a new "End of the Year Party" policy, and they're hoping to attract new members now.

You've run into an art student who's convinced she's the only artist in the school. She's looking for another artist -- someone who looks, sounds, and even smells like an artist. *All I need now is the beard(spoilers wanted here too!)*

Hungry Mrs. Awatif is looking for something wriggly to eat and wants you to help her out.

Mr. Anand over at the computer lab is having trouble with a game and is looking for your help.
*I can get to the cave floor but not beyond that*

You're Carrying:

Batteries
Chain
Eraser
Mirror
Soldering Iron

Blue Paint
Chalk
Glue Stick
Mrs. Pinto's CD
Syringe

Bottle
Cheese
Grass
Scalpel
Wire

Bottle Cap
Coffee Filter
Lighter
Slip of Paper
Wrench

Thanks in advance for the help!