Thanks for all the good points. You really helped me get a better perspective on what I was looking for. With the whole high school thing, I was actually talking about the diversity. I go to one of the high schools that made it to the front page of the Wall Street Journal for starting the "White Flight," meaning that the Asian American population is so much in the majority that other ethnicities are being chased away (which is not true as far as I can tell). That's what the UCs (that I've looked into, at any rate) look like in terms of diversity.

Also, it's not just the snow that I'm looking forward to live in. That's just an example of what kind of a closed bubble I live in. I want to be able to experience something more than the sheltered life I've had to prepare myself for the "real world" experience, whatever it may be.

I think that I conveyed the wrong attitude when talking about the UCs. I'd actually be pretty pleased to get into any of them and to go to them, no problem. I don't think I'm better than the UCs at all and in fact I'm nervous I'm not good enough for them. But I still would like to have options open to me. The only problem with me is that I'm constantly feeling unworthy compared to my colleagues. But then, I guess self-esteem is something that I've had had to work on since fifth grade, when my teacher had to have a conference with my parents about me having too many questions. =\

I probably appear pretty darn shallow by now, and I realize that. But it's kind of hard to live up to the expectations of my parents, especially when I have a pretty sucessful sister who already graduated from college. Living in an Asian household and basically Asian school doesn't really help issues - everyone expects each other to get into some big-name college. And I want myself to succeed as well. (This will probably lead to a discussion on success and how much I should compare myself to others. It's just hard to be individualized if you're living in an entire community anyhow, especially after growing up being constantly compared to other people and feeling unintelligent.) I know that college is one stepping stone to that end, but I'm pretty sure that college is that stepping stone geared towards preparing me, and if I don't choose wisely, the experiences I have will lead me to an entirely different route.

Oh, yes. And when I asked my mother to let me explore different colleges and visit, she told me to first apply, then visit once I got in. Not a pleasant way to choose colleges, but I have no choice because my parents control the income. Apparently, what works for my sister can work for me as well.

I don't know if I've conveyed my true apprehensions in the proper light, but here they are. I hope I didn't offend anyone or something with my posts, because I never intended to imply that I think I'm better than everyone else. It's just that different situations put together make me very uncertain of my future, and I'm recently discovering how many things I've done wrong with the application process, which is making my nerves even more frazzled. (I'm talking about forms and the like.)

Thanks for all the comments. It's helped me take a better look at what I'm really looking for, which is exactly what I needed.

Merry Christmas!

~Crystal109