Well, I said I would post this on my blog, which I did. But since it's been fairly quiet I figured it might be good to post here as well.

July 1stish
Hannah: "I feel kinda funny. I don't think it's labor, but my back kinda hurts."
Me: "You're not due for a couple weeks. I'm sure it's nothing. Probably just dialating."
Hannah: "Yeah, probably."

July 2nd
My old Boss: "Oh, by the way, how are things with your wife?"
Me: "Oh, not bad. We're getting ready for the twins, which could come at any time now"
My old Boss: "That so? Oh yeah...go home. We decided to end your contract."
Me: "You're kidding."
My old Boss: "Nope. Sorry. Not my decision, though. Wish you well."

July 3rd
Hannah: "I'm tired. It's late. Come to bed."
Me: "Okay. Since I don't have to go to work at night, I might as well start sleeping at night again."

July 4th
1:43 A.M. Me: "Hannah? Where are you?"
Hannah: "I'm right here. My stomach was hurting, so I got up."
Me: "You okay?"
Hannah: "I think so. I must have just eaten something bad."


1:47:A.M. Hannah: "Michael, come here please!"
Me: "Are you okay?"
Hannah: "I think I'm in labor."
Me: "I'll be right there"


1:51 A.M. Hannah: "I think I'm having the baby!"
Michael: "Okay, what do you want me to do?"
Hannah: "Will you check me?"
Michael: "Uh...Yeah...you're crowning, darlin."
Hannah: "AAAAAUUURRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!"
Elisabeth: "WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!"

1:52 A.M.
Me: "Hello, midwife? You're too late. Come anyway."
Hannah: "It still hurts!"
Me: *knock knock knock on Duane and Laurie's door* (still on the phone with the midwife)
Duane and Laurie: *rustle shuffle* "Hmmm? What?"
Me: *KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* "Laurie? Can you come here? You've got a new granddaughter and Hannah and I need your help"
Laurie: "You're kidding!"

2: 00 A.M.
Hannah: "Michael, don't sit there, you're hurting me!"
Me: (Trying to move)"Hannah, I'm holding a baby to whom you are still attached. My options are somewhat limited."
Hannah: "Here comes the boy!"
Laurie: "What do I do?"
Me: "Try not to let him hit the floor."
Uriah: "Just to throw you all off, I will now be born backward and without breaking my water until the absolute last second."
Spectators: "Oooh...Aahhh" *clap clap clap*

2:15 A.M.
Midwives: "We're here! Did we miss anything?"
Me: "Uh...yeah. Pretty much everything. But you can clean up, if you want."
Midwives: "Sure thing!"(They cut cords, deliver placentas, clean up, check everybody out, and let all of the non-professionals breathe again, as there is now someone here who knows what they're doing.)
Babies: "Zzzzzzzz..."

Mic-Daddy-hael