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At-A-Glance Film Reviews

Shadow Conspiracy (1997)

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Guest Reviewer: Dave Parker:

Did you know that there is a "back door" into the top-secret National Security Agency database that contains all the information on all the people they've killed over the years? Did you also know that this database not only plainly lists who they've "terminated with extreme prejudice", but also lists exactly who gave the order for the "termination?" Furthermore, did you also know that you too can access this "back door" just by fooling around with the device on IRQ 3 on your PC? Yes! It's all true!

I hate movies like this -- movies that are supposed to be suspenseful but mainly just leave you wondering what the heck the scriptwriters thought was so suspenseful about the current situation on screen. The movie also suffers from the infamous "your most trusted ally is really the head badguy" cliche, a fact my girlfriend picked out about five minutes into the movie, causing me to kick myself for not seeing it sooner.

My absolute favorite "bad scene" in the movie is one in which the Charlie Sheen character is inching closer to the badguys with a tape recorder. I am naturally assuming that he has had this recorder running the whole time, and he's merely trying to get closer to make sure he catches the conversation on tape. However, right at the climactic moment, when the badguys are about to reveal their plans, Sheen presses the eject button on the recorder and the tape falls out, alerting the badguys. I can only assume he was trying to turn the machine on, as he very deliberately pressed the button -- but that means all he intended to actually record was the head badguy saying, "the President of the United States," as that's all there was left for him to say at that point.

What a dumb movie.

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