Reload this page for a new random thought.

#122

I think whoever invented the cures for hiccups had the right idea. "Please help me with my hiccups," someone asked. And the guy made up all kinds of visually entertaining treatments. They didn't cure the hiccups, but they did the next best thing. "Drink water from the far side of a glass." You don't have to be that smart to figure out that advice was a practical joke. "Breathe in a paper bag." Actually that one probably works. You breathe in a bag, suffocate, and die. No more hiccups. Next time someone has the hiccups, I'm going to come up with a new miracle cure. "Put your thumbs in your cheek pockets and whistle." That ought to be good.