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#168

Recently I went on a dinner/dance cruise to see what it was like. This is what it was like. A bunch of people ate dinner, got drunk, and pretended to dance, while two really bad, really obnoxious bands, one on either end of the ship, blared loudly. I like food but neither drink nor dance, so I spent most of the time at the railing, appreciating the night breezes. In the process, I discovered that if I positioned myself in the exact middle, where I could hear each band equally well, the unpleasant clash of conflicting tunes was less cacophonic than either band was separately. But I digress. What I want to know is why these people paid outrageous prices to get fed, get drunk, and get stupid, when it's easier and cheaper to do the same thing at a dance club. I'm pretty sure I was the only one to even look at the water or the night sky. No, I don't understand it, but as always I know how to take advantage of it. I think I'm going to start my own cruise liner business. But instead of running the same old dinner/dance cruises everybody else has, I'll build my reputation with innovation. I'll have a Tupperware Party Cruise, a Must See TV Night Cruise, and a Quilting Cruise. University students will get a discount on the biweekly Study Hour Cruise. Sunday mornings I'll run a Church Service cruise (bring your own pastor). Around April, I'll run a special annual Tax Return Cruise. Rather than hire janitors, I'll just run a Housework Cruise every morning.