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Book-A-Minute SF/F

The Return of the King

By J. R. R. Tolkien

Ultra-Condensed by David J. Parker and Samuel Stoddard


Aragorn
We must travel the Paths of the Dead.
Eowyn
You'll die.
(They don't.)

Gandalf
The Hordes of Mordor will destroy Minis Tirith.
(They don't.)

Gandalf
We must attack Mordor. We'll all be killed.
(They aren't.)

Gollum
Mmmm, yummy finger! (dies)
Frodo
The Ring has been destroyed, but now we will die in Mordor.
Sam
Buck up, Master Frodo.
(A bunch of feathered DEUS EX MACHINAS come out of NOWHERE and save EVERYBODY.)



THE END

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