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The Cat's Meow

By David J. Parker

Ultra-Condensed by Samuel Stoddard


Darius, the Big Warrior
Wizards are bad.
Saymite, the Raven-Haired Wizard
Take us to our leader.
Darius, the Big Warrior
Ok, but I hate you.
Daerleena, the Blonde-Haired Wizardess
Wah. He hates us. I suck.
(Darius, the Big Warrior, leads Saymite, the Raven-Haired Wizard, and Daerleena, the Blonde-Haired Wizardess, to the stronghold of Stamos, the Leader of All Wizards Everywhere. He listens to the two wizards TALK and has his PANCREAS eaten by a PUPPY. There is ADVENTURE and THRILLS and STUFF THAT DOESN'T HAVE ANY RELEVANCE TO THE PLOT.)

Darius, the Big Warrior
Now that our adventure is over, I've suddenly gained control of my emotions.
Daerleena, the Blonde-Haired Wizardess
Now that our adventure is over, I've suddenly gained self-esteem.
Saymite, the Raven-Haired Wizard
Now that our adventure is over, I've suddenly gained Daerleena.



THE END


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