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Moby Dick

By Herman Melville

Ultra-Condensed by Samuel Stoddard


Ishmael
Call me Ishmael.
Captain Ahab
Crew, we will seek the white whale and kill it, because I am insane.
Crew
Alas, your destructive obsession will be our undoing.
(They almost find the white whale. Then they almost find the white whale. Then they find it.)

Captain Ahab
I stab at thee. I stab at thee.
(Everybody dies except Ishmael, although this is no surprise, because it was foreshadowed CONTINUALLY from the BEGINNING.)



THE END


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