Archives: Stupid Day 2000
1/21/00
The Stupid Day celebration for 2000 began a day early, actually, on
Stupid Eve. This chat transcript (heavily cropped, despite its length!)
begins in the early afternoon of January 20th and ends a minute or two
into January 22nd.
Balanthalus: I wanted to answer "Do stupid things" and "Business as usual" for the poll.
Ghost of Sam: What's a muffin? And a screwdriver -- do you know what that is, too?
Balanthalus: Er?
Ghost of Sam: Or are they the same thing?
Balanthalus: I tried to eat a screwdriver for breakfast yesterday
Ghost of Sam: How'd it go?
Balanthalus: Put it in the microwave and spread butter on it, but it just didn't taste right.
Ghost of Sam: Sounds like you got screwed.
Balanthalus: Oh dear. I set myself up for that one, didn't I?
[RinkChat] User Ghost of Sam has been kicked from the chat room on general principles.
* Balanthalus chuckles
Balanthalus: And it's so hard to find a muffin with a Phillips head.
Balanthalus: Tried to install a new piece of hardware after breakfast, and now my motherboard is covered in warm cakey goodness.
Ghost of Sam: Sounds like you're already in the spirit of the season. Good for you.
Balanthalus: "And on this most holy of days, let us read from the books of 'Gump,' 'Quayle,' and 'that lady who sued McDonalds for having hot coffee.'"
Kiki has entered.
Balanthalus: Hi Kiki
Balanthalus: Ready for Stupid Eve?
Kiki: hehe, of course
Kiki: i'm not quite sure what i'm gonna do tomorrow
Balanthalus: Roll in the snow in shorts and a t-shirt?
Balanthalus: Offer the president the surprise gift of a firearm by whipping it suddenly out of your coat pocket?
Kiki: i could try attacking the white house. i'll go right past it if there's school tomorrow
Kiki: i don't think Sam wants us to be dangerously stupid
Balanthalus: I suppose not
Kiki: but it WOULD be fun
Balanthalus: If I find a brick, I'm throwing it straight up though.
Ghost of Sam: Um, excuse me. Can you tell me when the 10 o'clock ferry leaves?
Balanthalus: I dunno. I'd tell you the number for 411 so you could find out if I had it.
Ghost of Sam: Darn. Thanks anyway.
Balanthalus: I'll be right back. I just had a thought: Wouldn't that fork look great stuck in the power strip?
Balanthalus is away.
Ghost of Sam: Hey, great idea! I wish I could do it, but I don't have any forks around here. I got jumper cables. I wonder if I could rig something up with those so I could get electrical power to the computer without plugging it in. Then I'd save on my electricity bills.
Kiki: hey, my baby brother likes sticking his finger in open electrical sockets. maybe if i left one open around here and put his other hand into the electrical things on the computer...
Ghost of Sam: Then you could turn him into a cyborg. That would rule.
Kiki: yeah!
Ghost of Sam: Funny you should mention that. I had that happen to me when I was kid.
Ghost of Sam: But I just turned into a stick of celery. They didn't have cyborgs in those days.
Kiki: oh.... that's sad. sticks of celery are kinda icky
Ghost of Sam: Yeah, I didn't like it much, and it was worse when the dog played fetch with me. I still have teeth marks from that ordeal.
Kiki: aw, poor Sam....
Ghost of Sam: Or, wait -- maybe that's what happened to my brother? It's been years since I've seen him, now that I think about it.
Ghost of Sam: Uh oh. We had celery last night.
Ghost of Sam: Or was that chicken parmigiana? I can never tell the difference. Which one tastes like chicken, again?
Kiki: um the celery, i think
Ghost of Sam: Oops.
Kiki: uh-oh
Balanthalus is back.
Balanthalus: Hmm. Why do I smell smoke?
Balanthalus: And where did these 2nd degree burns come from?
Balanthalus: And why is there a fork welded to my left hand?
Balanthalus: Makes it durned hard to type
.
.
.
Kelly: Check this out...This Saturday,January 22,8:00 AM a Cleaning Service will be cleaning our carpets. This cleaning will ONLY be in the hallways and common areas. You are not required to move/do anything in your area.
Kelly: You know you work for a large corporation when you get an e-mail informing you of an irrelevant fact and telling you to do nothing. What a waste.
Stephen: lol
Stephen: Maybe they're gearing up for Stupid Day
Kelly: Yes! That has to be it. :-)
Ghost of Sam: Is the 4th of July this month or next?
Kelly: Too bad other countries don't have a 4th of July.
Stephen: Sam: I think it's next month
Stephen: Oh, by the way, Happy Stupid Day Eve!
Ghost of Sam: Happy Stupid Eve to you, too. Wait, is it Stupid Eve? Today's only the 20th, and Stupid Day is the 21st.
Stephen: Hrmmm... er, dang you Sam and your tough trick questions!
Ghost of Sam: Hang on. I got my tongue stuck in my water bottle.
Ghost of Sam: Ouch! Dang, that hurt. I'm going to do it again.
* Stephen gets his hand stuck in a can of Pringles
Stephen: Normally, I just turn the can over, and they fall out...
* Marvin is still carrying around his umbrella, in case of would-be jumpers.
Heh. The previous day, we had been joking that for Stupid Day we'd all go
visit Marvin and jump on his head. I didn't manage to save that particular
conversation, unfortunately, but that's pretty much all there was to it
anyway.
Ghost of Sam: Marvin's already had his turn anyway. I say on Stupid Day you all come over and jump on my head.
Kelly: We'll be there...
RinkChat: User Kelly has been labeled 'jumper' by Kelly.
Marvin: How could I jump on a ghost?
Ghost of Sam: You're right. It would be stupid to jump on a ghost...
RinkChat: User Stephen has been labeled 'tsupid' by Stephen.
Stephen: I say for Stupid Day, we all go ahck AOL!
* Stephen digs this holiday
Ghost of Sam: Whoa, hairball. (gulp) I figure if I swallow it now and cough it up right away, I can get the coughing-up part done before it gets too far down. Much easier that way. KKAAAAAA!
Kelly: Quick timesaving tip: Don't wait for the toast to pop-up out of the toaster before buttering it. Take your knife and butter the toast while it's still toasting. That way the butter is nice and melted when it pops up.
Ghost of Sam: Hrm. I don't have a knife handy. Will this live power cable work instead?
Kelly: Yes, it'll work fine. Check to make sure it's live first though. The best way is with your tongue.
Marvin: Sure. Why would it matter? You're a ghost anyways.
Ghost of Sam: Right...
ZZZZTT!
Ghost of Ghost of Sam: Erm...slight complication there.
Kelly: I've always wondered what Beethoven's Fifth would sound like underwater. I'm taking my radio into the bathtub and find out once and for all.
Kelly: Anyone have an extra long extension cord I can borrow?
Ghost of Ghost of Sam: You can use mine. It's kind of got butter all over it, though.
Kelly: Never mind. I'll just take my portable generator in there too.
Mousie has entered.
Mousie: Kelly, I know six ways to kill a man with a drinking straw and a paper clip. Want me to visit you?
Kelly: Come on over. Show me all six ways.
Marvin: Mousie: Visit me. I'm having a party...
Mousie: Marvin, what kind of party?
Marvin: The two foot area around me.
Kelly: Sam: Still have that cord handy? I wanna see if my gold teeth conduct electricity.
Marvin: I have a cord...
Kelly: OK, Marvin. Give me the cord.
* Marvin gives Kelly the card.
* Kelly wraps the bared wire around each of his gold teeth and prepares to plug it in.
Kelly: Do you think this will hurt?
Mousie: No. Try it.
Mousie: Make sure you're standing in the full tub, though.
Kelly: Hmmm...maybe I should ground myself first.
Mousie: I'll ground you.
Marvin: Hold on to metal objects too.
Mousie: Kelly, You're grounded. You are not to leave your room for three weeks.
* Kelly grounds himself by putting his car key into the socket of.........AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Marvin: Kelly! Are you ok?
Kelly: That freakin' HURT!
* Marvin gives Kelly CPR.
* Mousie only gives sympathetic gestures.
Kelly: I bet my teeth won't hurt nearly that much though.
* Kelly plugs Marvin's cord into the...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Kelly: OK, that REALLY hurt!!
* Marvin is considering beating himself up later tonite in chat...
Dave has entered.
Mousie: Dave, it's your turn to do something Stupid.
* Dave whacks himself on the head really hard. Wow, that was pretty stupid.
Sam: There. I'm back, I think. I just took my computer, stood on my cube wall, and dropped it. It seemed to cause a problem. But I finally hunted down a new computer, so I'm here again.
Sam: I wonder what would happen if I dropped this one....
Sam: Heh. I just checked 'Don't Throw a Brick Straight Up.' I couldn't find where it said not to throw a computer straight up!
* Mousie thinks it would hurt to vomit a computer. Plus, you'd have to eat it first.
* c0bra will now attempt to breathe Jell-O
.
.
.
Mousie: Are you all private messaging each other? 'Cause I could use some conversation out here.
Kelly: Sorry, I was on the phone with the IRS. I dared them to audit me.
Ghost of Sam: Sorry, Mousie, I'm in the process of shaving. (ping -- ouch!) There's got to be a better way (ping -- ouch!) to do this. (ping -- ouch!)
Silvercup: GOS: Try shaving your legs, then get back to me....
Marvin: Why would a ghost shave?
Kiki: i dunno.... why WOULD a ghost shave?
Ghost of Sam: Marvin: Uh...good point. That was pretty stupid of me.
Mousie: Ghost of Sam: Tell us how you're shaving and we'll give you ideas how to do it better.
Ghost of Sam: I'm plucking each hair. So far I've got the divot in my upper lip mostly clear.
Ghost of Sam: It only took me two and a half hours to get this far, so I figure in another 15 minutes I'll have the whole face shorn again.
c0bra: Use a scythe -- that's the best way
Kelly: Plucking each hair, huh? Novel approach. I usually use a Black and Decker model 1200 5hp belt-sander. That way, I only shave once a month.
Kelly: And my face has a nice smooth grain afterwards.
Ghost of Sam: That's an interesting idea, Kelly, but this way it takes me a month to shave, so, you know, six of one, half a dozen of another...
Mousie: I tried to wax my legs instead, but the hairs just got shiny. Armor-All didn't work, either.
Mousie: Maybe I'll try Pledge next time. Or Turtle Wax.
Kelly: Try this: pour lighter fluid on your legs, light it, wait 1-2 seconds for the hair to burn off, then jump in the nearest swimming pool. Hint: Make sure you have located a swimming pool before trying this.
Ghost of Sam: I can't agree more, Kelly. After all, if you hadn't located a swimming pool first, it would be downright stupid to do that!
Kelly: Also, make sure sure your "clever" friends didn't fill the pool with kerosene.
c0bra: I've tried that, and the smoke detector keeps going off, then I have to hit it with rocks and I usually break a window. Then I have to call the repair men to come and fix the window and I drop the phone on my toe and I hop around and fall out the window that I broke.
Ghost of Sam: c0bra: And land on Marvin's head?
Kelly: Household hint: Don't waste hours dusting your house. Just duct-tape all the small stuff down and fire up the leafblower.
.
.
.
Kelly: Ghost: Finished shaving yet?
Ghost of Sam: Almost done with another square millimeter....(ping -- ouch!)...there.
c0bra: Why don't you use poison-tipped tweezers? Twice the pain AND fun!
Ghost of Sam: Tweezers! I never thought of that. I was using a vice.
Kelly: Hate to run, but I have to get back to work. I should be back on tonight.
Kelly: How do I get out?
Kelly: Should I just turn my computer off?
Kelly: Or just cut the power cable with a knife?
Mousie: Pretend like you're a mime and find the door to that invisible box.
Kelly: Maybe I should cut the whole city's power grid. You know, just to be safe.
Mousie: Paint your screen black. That would mean you were out, right?
Ghost of Sam: I prefer white-out to black paint, because then you can write over it. Good to know, isn't it? You gotta be thinking.
* Kelly decides just to push the button labelled "Pow
Kelly has left.
.
.
.
Marvin: So like i was saying, we should hold a Stupid Eve Party tonight here in the chat room.
c0bra: I'll be here
Kiki: ooh! i want to go to the party!
Marvin: YES! Now we need to plan it all out.
* c0bra will bring chips
c0bra: actually, I'll just bring chip dough, so much easier to eat, no?
Marvin: What's Kiki going to bring?
Kiki: i dunno
Kiki: i'm not sure how much i'll be able to be on
Kiki: so don't make it something essential
Marvin: Bring the non-alcoholic beverages.
Kiki: ummm
Marvin: What?
Kiki: well, considering the number of people who are underage, there SHOULD be some nonalcoholic beverages, doncha think?
Ghost of Sam: Kiki: No. Because it would be stupid to drink alcoholic beverages if you're underaged.
Kiki: that's what i said, isn't it?
Ghost of Sam: No, you're not getting it. It would be stupid, so you should do it. Drink yourself drunk like a fish, preferably amidst strangers with tattoos and giant earrings.
Kiki: OH!!!
Kiki: RIGHT!!!! no, but see, i was being stupid by not getting your point....
Ghost of Sam: Ah, I see! Your stupidity outsmarted me! I commend you!
* Marvin starts decorating the chat room.
* Kiki offers to donate all of the broken glass she can find
Marvin: Sam, where are the Christmas decorations?
Ghost of Sam: I packed them up. I didn't think we'd need them after last Thanksgiving.
Marvin: Do you have any decorations handy then?
Ghost of Sam: Just this buttery power cord.
* Marvin takes down the ceiling tile, exposing electical wire.
Marvin: What if we hang these down from the ceiling?
gambit: Let's stay up till midnight and at the stroke of midnight let's hit or heads with our $1,599,000 laptops.
Ghost of Sam: gambit: That would RULE! But my wife and I only have one laptop! Hmmm. Maybe one of us can use a weed whacker instead.
Marvin: I think we need a guest speaker. Any good party has a guest speaker.
Kiki: Dan Quayle!!!!
Marvin: He's not stupid, just boring.
Marvin: What about Dennis Rodman?
Kiki: he's scary.... ooh! all the better!
Kiki: or how about a hardened murder and/or rapist from death row?
Kiki: and we could make the major event of the evening teasing our keynote speaker!
Ghost of Sam: I know a dog that might make a good guest speaker. He's never spoken before, but I bet a little financial persuasion is all he needs.
Marvin: Yes! I can see this party is going to be a huge success.
Ghost of Sam: I gotta go home. I'm going to see if I can make it without the headlights. Bye!
.
.
.
Sam has entered.
Sam: Whew. You know, it's hard to see when you drive without your headlights! At least it was tonight. I wonder why that doesn't happen when I drive during the day.
Sam: I gotta go eat dinner.
Sam is away.
.
.
.
Sam is back.
Finchplucker: That was a quick meal, Sam.
Sam: I eat quickly so I don't waste time from doing cooler things.
Sam: Plus the polystyrene pellets didn't taste as good as I thought they might.
Kiki: hi BG!!!!
Kaz: Polystyrene pellets? That sounds like something Dave would have with macaroni and cheese.....
Brunnen_G has entered.
Sam: I stuck lipstick in my ear today.
Sam: Hey! It made my ear red! I didn't think it would do that. I'm suing.
Brunnen_G: I don't really know what to say about that.
Sam: Ouch! Geez! Ok, fan blades don't like to be pet. I'm going to pet it again to punish it.
Silvercup has entered.
Silvercup: not much of a party...
Sam: Silver: This is a pretty stupid party, isn't it?
Mousie: Silvercup: That's a rash judgment! Give it a chance! Go get some hors d'evoures, get yourself a soft drink, mingle a little.
* Brunnen_G gives Silvercup a drink and some horse doovers
Silvercup: B_G: Actually, I have a huge sore on my tongue and can barely speak, let alone eat.
Sam: Silver: I hear that if you bite the sore really hard, then sand it off with coarse grain sandpaper, it will really hurt. Try it!
Sam: I think I'm going to de-admin myself, change my password to something random, and log out. I'll perm-op everyone else first, though.
Sam: Anyone want to play a game of chess with me? I'll move the king pawn on the first move, and thereafter only move the king. I'm reasonably convinced it's a winning strategy. It's like tic tac toe. Do it, and you win every time.
Sam: I gotta get a big giant magnet, so I can swipe video tapes off the shelf without getting up.
Kelly has entered.
* Kelly is not home yet.
* Kelly hopes the toll-booth attendants can change a EuroDollar. Otherwise, he may not get home.
Brunnen_G: Only if you go the long way around, Kelly. Across the Aleutians, through Europe, and then you'll have to wait until they build that tunnel under the Atlantic.
* Nyperold is microwaving chicken. He hopes the aluminum foil doesn't hurt anything.
Sam: Nyp: Hey, you should NEVER put aluminum foil in the microwave! Put it in a cast iron pan in stead.
Nyperold: Don't worry, the aluminum foil didn't hurt anything.
Nyperold: Especially since I left it in the box.
Nyperold: Actually, I didn't put aluminum foil in the microwave; I never said I did. You guys just inferred that from what I said.
Silvercup: I put a pop tart in the microwave once with the wrapper still on.
Kelly: REAL LIFE STUPIDITY: Has anyone ever seen the micowave directions on Pop-Tarts? It says "Microwave on High for 3 seconds." Are we that desperate for time that 30 seconds in the toaster isn't fast enough?
Dave has entered.
Kaz: Hi Dave! Perhaps you can contribute to the stupid day eve party! What's for supper?
Sam: MOUSIE! TM Sam
RinkChat: User Sam has been kicked from the chat room by Dave.
Sam has left.
Sam has entered.
Nyperold: Attach the VCR to your microwave. then just set it on << for 3 sec. :)
Nyperold: I meant >>
Nyperold: << would freeze it.
Silvercup: can someone send me some snow to build a snowman?
Silvercup: If everyone send me a little, then i'll have enough.
famous: I'll send you a lot Silv.
Sam: I can wrap some up in a shoebox and mail that. Would that be enough?
Sam: You could add some water to get it to expand.
Liface has entered.
Sam: Lif: We're doing stupid things. Wanna join us?
Liface: OK, sure what shall I do
* Liface jumps off a bridge
Mousie: That's only stupid if all your friends did it first.
Nyperold: No, that's pretty much stupid anytime you don't know what the water's like.
Sam: I knew what it was like. It was cold and gunky and had old bicycle parts littered on the river bed, five feet below the surface. I jumped in that, but at least I knew what I was getting myself into.
Sam: Surprisingly, I only lost one leg below the knee and an eye. Not bad! I'm going to try it later this month when it freezes over. That'll be much safer, because I won't hit any of those bicycle parts.
Sam: AARGH! I've been raking this rug for hours, and the stains still haven't come out.
Mousie: I wish chocolate chips didn't come in these colored shells with w&w on them....they're hard to peel.
Sam: Eeww. The top of my refrigerator has that greasy dust stuff that kitchens get all over them. I wonder if it tastes good.
Sam: Yuck! No, it doesn't. I wonder if the stuff on the other side tastes good.
Dave: I once ate pizza then barfed it in my bathtub. Oh wait, that really happened.
Dave: Well, it's still stupid.
Kelly has entered.
Kelly: Sorry I left so abruptly. Power went out at work. I'm home now.
Sam: Kelly: You could have at least logged in and told us so we wouldn't worry.
Dave: Kelly: Really. Think of the children.
Kelly: I tried. But I think someone painted my screen black. It wouldn't come on.
Sam: I hate that. Someone did that to me once, and I vowed to kill him. Turned out it was me. I'm still dead.
Kelly: Thus, the Ghost of Sam.
Sam: Pretty much, yeah.
Kelly: You know, we have prune juice, but not raisin juice. I think I'm going to invent raisin juice.
Nyperold: Hmmm... I wonder what would happen if I went into Explorer, selected everything, and pressed Del.
ladadadada: Nyp: You deleted the internet !
Kelly: Nyp: It's also fun to type del *.* at the c prompt. Try it sometime.
Sam: Hey, I was deleted the other day. Was that you?
Sam: You better not have ahcked into my computer.
Sam: Aargh! You DID AHCK INTO MY COMPUTER! Right there on the back, there's chisel marks.
Mousie: I usually ahck with my sledgehammer. Any sledgehammer marks?
Sam: The only sledgehammer marks I could find were the ones I made. I kept getting 404 errors on the Internet, so I hit it and hoped that would fix it.
Mousie: Sam, I would think a 404 error means you have to add six and spray some 409 in those little vents in back.
Nyperold: No, that would be a 409 error.
Dave: I think I'm going to go stick a raisin up my nose and see if I can sneeze it across the room. BRB
Dave is away.
Kelly: My monitor sure is dusty. I'm going to get some soap and water and clean it. Might as well do the CPU while I'm at it.
Kelly: My computer thinks it's 1994. Stupid Y2K bug.
Nyperold: Ah! It's 1929; the crash is almost he...oh, that's the time.
Dave is back.
Dave: YAY, it worked! I had to jam the raisin *way* up in there to get enough pressure, but MAN did that thing fly!
Sam: COOL!!! I wanna try!!
Sam is away.
Kelly: FYI: Policemen don't think chocolate revolvers make funny gifts.
Sam is back.
Sam: *CHOKE*
Sam: *GURGLE*
Sam: *TKKCHKHTKHCTKHKHTKCHKCHCKTHKCH*
Sam: Great.
Sam: Now I've got a raisin somewhere in my sinuses.
Sam: This stinks.
Sam: Maybe it'll work better in the other nostril.
Sam is away.
Dave: Sam: No! Not BOTH nostrils!
Sam is back.
Sam: Dis stinks. I caht bebieve dis. Bow I got two raibins in my bain.
Dave: Sam: I *told* you not to plug both nostrils!
Mousie: Sam, Stop inhaling.
Mousie: Sam, Don't forget to START INHALING after the raisins are OUT of your nose.
Sam: *THCKCHTKHCTCKTHTKHCTKH*
Sam: Whew. I got one out.
Sam: Aah! I don't know which one!
Sam: Now there's no way for me to figure out which nostril I should try next!
Dave: Don't you know you're supposed to dip the raisin in mayonaise first for lubrication? Sheesh.
Sam: Oh.
Sam: Now you tell me.
Sam: I'm going to try to vacuum it out.
Sam is away.
Kelly: I don't have any raisins, but I do have grapes. I'm going to try using them.
Kelly: O by gosh, dese gwapes hurt.
Kelly: I think they're stuck. Oh well, in a few months, they'll be raisins and then I'll get them out.
Finchplucker: Kelly: Only if you hang upside down for a few months to expose them to the sun.
Mousie: Kelly, try grapeFRUITS. They should be smaller.
Sam is back.
Sam: Hey, does anyone here know how to treat a collapsed lung? Um...type fast.
Liface: PUMP AIR INTO LUNg
eric_sleator: sam: uhh...let me think...
eric_sleator: i believe...
eric_sleator: you have to...
eric_sleator: take a...
eric_sleator: uhh...
eric_sleator: let me see...
eric_sleator: a...
eric_sleator: i don't know, sorry
ladadadada: Go down to your local service station and use that air hose...
Mousie: Didn't you see Three Kings? Pump air OUT OF CHEST CAVITY.
Dave: Sam: Beat your head against your monitor until the vacuum tube breaks. Then open your mouth and the air will be sucked out of your *other* lung, thus eqaulizing the two!
Liface: SAM IS NOT JOKING!!!!!
Liface: I ONCE SPRAINED MY ANKLE REALLY BAD!
Kelly: I had a collapsed lung once. It was too hard to breathe with one good lung and one collapsed one though. I just stuck a pen in my chest to collapse the other one. That way, I at least had symmetry going for me.
Nyperold: Ahem. Ah! Symmetry!
Nyperold: Evil!
Mousie: I abhor a vacuum. Either I'm mother nature, or I'm a bad housekeeper.
Liface: I have never been to the hospital... Except for that time when I tried to kiss a bee in front of a bee's nest. Then the bee's stung me so I poured oil All over myself (which was what it said to do in my book)
ladadadada: Sam, are you there ? Still alive ?
ladadadada: has anyone else noticed that Sam hasn't spoken since the question about the collapsed lung ?
Liface: I TOLD YOU HE WASN'T KIDDING!
Sam: Hrm. Does anyone know what to do with a bloated lung? I kind of...overdid the pump...thing....
Kelly: Try the pen thing.
Liface: Poke it with a really really big butcher knife
eric_sleator: exhale
Sam: Oh yeah. Thanks.
Sam: I think I'm fine, now.
eric_sleator: which did you do?
Sam: I exhaled.
Sam: Maybe I should try the butcher knife cure too, just to make sure?
Dave: Sam: That's ok, we were all just waiting for you to exhale.
.
.
.
Kelly: I'm hungry. I'm going to order Chinese food and pizza and take whichever gets here first.
Dave: I think I'm gonna jump up and down in my living room and swear loudly. When my neighbors come to ask me what my problem is, I'll tell them it's because Nelson Mandella is a prisoner in South Africa. Then they'll say, "But they let him out years ago." Then I'll start jumping up and down again, and when they ask me what my problem is now, I'll say, "It's because they let Nelson out, and he never called me!"
* Kelly wishes he hadn't spent half his money stockpiling dehydrated water for Y2K.
* Nyperold cleans his computer's registry with bleach and ammonia. That'll do the trick!
Kelly: My fan belt needs replacing. I think I'll get one of "Will work for food" guys and have him change it at the next red light.
Kelly: I'll give him a cookie too.
Mousie: Kelly, you should have him explain biogenetics to you, too, so you'd finally understand it.
Mousie: And why don't you have him put that tattoo you've been wanting on a really sensitive part of your body for you? I'm sure he'd be very careful.
Sam: I'm going to eat some ice cream. I wonder if it tastes good in any other bodily orifices.
Kelly: Sam: Yes, it does.
Stephen: Sam: You better believe it!
Sam is away.
Mousie: What comes after eleventy-four? Is it nine, or R?
eric_sleator: seventy-twelve
Mousie: Thank, you eric. Do I capitalize the 8?
Sam is back.
Sam: Ok, I tried ice cream in all the bodily orifices I could find (just two -- I thought there were more -- *shrug*), and I can say that it definitely does not taste good in the left eye. Oh! The right eye! Didn't think of that one. Trying that next...
Stephen: Sam: Actually, I think there's 4... the two eyes, the mouth, and the middle nostril
Kelly: I make way too many typos. I'm going to change all the keys to be alphabetical. That way, I won't make near as many typos.
Kelly: hncp: nyiziyfll kafoi
Kelly: What the??? It didn't work! I'm taking this keyboard back. It's defective.
Brunnen_G: Kelly, you have to type in alphabetical order for it to work properly.
Kelly: Bennnru: eikl hist?
Kelly: That sucks. I hate typing alphabetically.
* eric_sleator snaps in half, but this time just for fun
eric_sleator: SNAP!
RinkChat: User eric_sleator has been labeled 'in half' by eric_sleator.
Kelly: That pit bull next door sure is barking loudly. I think he just needs a friend. I should probably go play with him.
Kelly: I bet he'd love to play "Tag".
Brunnen_G: Don't forget to smear yourself with dog food first, Kelly. Pit bulls like that.
eric_sleator: play it with water guns
Nyperold: Better, "Freeze Tag".
Kelly: Yes! That's the perfect game! Thanks.
eric_sleator: play duck duck goose with it. it'd LOVE that!
Nyperold: Don't forget your giant cat costume!
* Brunnen_G really hopes a new person comes into chat today. It would be so funny.
Stephen: Man, I'm hungry. You think textbooks are edible?
eric_sleator: it depends. which one?
Stephen: And if so, which would taste best: a political science book, a big fat American history one, a Perl one, or a Cinema one?
Sam: Hmmm...books is made out of trees and ink -- and trees and ink are certainly edible. Go for it.
Stephen: I'm guessing the Cinema one right now...
eric_sleator: oh, cinema, definitely
Nyperold: Mmmm... cinema toast...
Brunnen_G: Yes, I'd say Cinema. But it depends which is your favourite subject, of course.
Kelly: Just make sure you put real movie butter on it first.
Stephen: Yeah... hrmph
eric_sleator: stephen: political science is poison, so watch out
Stephen: Hrm... just biting in isn't working too well
Stephen: Think I should try boiling it first?
Mousie: Everyone knows you don't boil books. You must charbroil them.
Stephen: Charbroil them, eh? I can do that on an electric stove, right?
Mousie: You can do that with a space heater.
Mousie: I'm going to save on my electric bill by filling the bathtub up with COLD water, then throwing the space heater in to warm it up.
Brunnen_G: Yes, make sure you're in the tub at the time, then you'll save on having your hair curled as well.
Mousie: Hmmm. Kiwis are green under a brown furry skin. Do you think guacamole with brown furry skin will taste the same?
Stephen: I'm sure it would
Brunnen_G: If you leave your guacamole out in a warm room for several months, you'll be able to find out.
Nyperold: Don't some mice have a brown furry skin? so, yeah.
Kelly: I like eating Kiwis, once you get past the feathers.
Kelly: My cat's litterbox always smells. I'm going to tape a dead fish inside it, so he'll know what I have to deal with.
Mousie: My cat's litterbox doesn't smell. It got its nose cut off. Now it only tastes bad.
Kelly: If the litter tastes bad, just add milk. Makes it go down easier anyway.
Mousie: Shoes taste better than the litter -- they at least have tongues.
Brunnen_G: And they have sole, too. It's all about sole.
Sam: I'm going to see if I can climb the tree out in the yard using just my feet.
Mousie: Try using just your elbows!
Sam is away.
Brunnen_G: If that pit bull from Kelly's place is still around, Sam might be barking up the wrong tree.
Kelly: I'm going to go on a Twinkies-only diet. That way, when people ask me how I lost the weight, I can say "Twinkies...nothing but Twinkies."
Sam is back.
Sam: Does anyone know how to wash blood off grass and bark? Oops! And the carpet. Hmmm. And my computer. And...oh geez, I got it on the sofa....
Kelly: Sam: Soak everything in ketchup. It won't get rid of the blood, but it does hide it rather well.
Mousie: Or just turn out the lights.
Sam: I'll do both. Which first?
Mousie: Definitely lights out first.
Sam: I'll just cut the power to the building. That'll be safer. Hang on.
Sam has left.
Sam has entered.
Sam: Hmmm. Why the *heck* did my computer stop working??
Kelly: Maybe you should throw it straight up again. Seemed to work for you at work today.
Sam: All right, it seems to be working now.
Sam: Now I have to find some ketchup.
Sam: *glug*glug*glug*glug* No way am I pouring this stuff all over. This is good!
Brunnen_G: To encourage visitors to your house, you should locate your TV, stereo and computer in a place where they can be seen from the road...
Brunnen_G: Visitors, burglars, it's all the way you look at it.
Kelly: I find the best deterrent to being burglarized is a burning pentagram on my front lawn.
Dave: I like a burning cross *and* a burning pentagram. I like to cover all my bases.
Sam: I like burning the house. That's even more effective.
Mousie: You know, I burned a cross once, but it was still cold out, so I put this white sheet over my head, and I still can't figure out why all my neighbors in South Central hate me.
Brunnen_G: When I was in Scotland, I crossed a burn.
Brunnen_G: Oh, admit it, that was my best pun in ages.
.
.
.
Sam: I used my toothbrush to clean my nose. I'm not shelling out for a second brush when one works just fine.
Sam: Boy, you sure get overpowered by the toothpaste fumes this way...
* Brunnen_G can't wait for October 19, 2012!
Brunnen_G: I mean, there has to be *something* happening on that day.
Sam: I bought a toaster oven the other day. I used it and used it, but my toaster just wouldn't brown. So I'm taking it back.
Kelly: Well guys and girls, I have to be going in a few minutes. I trust everyone will be back tomorrow?
Kelly: OK, now I just have to figure out how to get out of here.
Kelly: My computer at work is different than this one.
.
.
.
Sam: When I got out of work, I saw that my car was all covered with snow.
Sam: So I opened the door.
Sam: And a big cascade of snow landed in the driver's seat.
Sam: This happened today.
Sam: True story.
Sam: I was in the spirit of the season.
.
.
.
Issachar: Oops, I'm still in the pool. And I see that someone tossed an electrical appliance in here with me.
Sam: Iss: It's ok, because the water's turned off.
Mousie: Iss, are you feeling tingly all over?
* Issachar does in fact feel tingly, either from the current or the cold, he's not sure.
* Issachar climbs out of the pool and shakes himself vigorously like a great big Issachar-shaped mutt.
Stupid_Ghost has entered.
Stupid_Ghost: I . . . am the Ghost of Stupid Day Past!
Balanthalus: Um . . . But isn't this the first Stupid Day?
Sam: Wow, you're right, Bal. That ghost sure is stupid! Ha ha ha!
Fawcett: Tomorrow is the 1st Stupid Day, ergo, what are you really?
Stupid_Ghost: Oh. Right. Stupid Day Present then?
Stupid_Ghost: Right. Um, can I just come in again?
Sam: Uh, no. BECAUSE YOU'RE ALREADY HERE! AH-hahahahaha!!!
Stupid_Ghost: Pretend I didn't come in just now.
Stupid_Ghost: Terribly sorry. I'm usually more effective than this.
Stupid_Ghost has left.
Fawcett: S_G li... er, dies up to his name.
Sam: Hey, is Tuesday today or tomorrow?
eric_sleator: tuesday was last week
Sam: eric: Oh. What is it this week?
Mousie: If a Q-tip won't reach the itch in my ear, do you think an ice pick would?
Sam: Maybe. I got a screwdriver, if that's better.
Mousie: Hmm. Screwdriver might work. Wish I had a really long hypodermic needle, though...
Sam: No, wait. I got a hand drill. That'll work much better.
Dave: What you need is one of those novelty jumbo pencils.
Mousie: Yeah, jumbo novelty pencil....cool.
Stupid_Ghost has entered.
Stupid_Ghost: Ahem. I shall begin again.
Stupid_Ghost: I . . . am the Ghost of Christmas Future!
* Stupid_Ghost smacks itself in the forehead
Stupid_Ghost: Okay, I'll get it right this time. Be right back.
Stupid_Ghost has left.
Stupid_Ghost has entered.
Stupid_Ghost: I . . . am the Future of Stupid Ghost!
* Stupid_Ghost cries. I can't get it right.
Sam: I gotta go to bed. I'm going to try sleeping with the mattress leaned vertically up against the wall. Then I'll sleep on the top edge. Tonight's rest should be way more exciting than the usual boring routine.
Sam: Or maybe I'll sleep in the refrigerator. Then if I have to get up for a midnight snack, I won't have to go far.
Issachar: Sam: For some real fun, have Darleen sleep on the *bottom* edge.
Sam: Iss: Oooo! That's a great idea. I'll tell her where she's sleeping right now. It'll probably sound more convincing if I make use of the words, "Now, woman."
Sam: OUCH!
Sam: I'm guessing my voice just wasn't commanding enough...
Sam has left.
* Stupid_Ghost scratches its head.
Stupid_Ghost: I know I came here for a reason.
* Stephen opens a can of ginger ale and yaks it all over himself
eric_sleator: hmm, my leg fell off
eric_sleator: ah, a little staples'll clear that up
eric_sleator: CHUNK CHUNK CHUNK
eric_sleator: there, my leg's back on
eric_sleator: hmm, it never bled like this before...
* eric_sleator hangs from the chandelier again, but the staples don't hold up very well, and he falls, leaving a detached, gruesome leg dangling twenty feet above the floor.
* eric_sleator desperately tries to get his leg down
eric_sleator: aha! i know how to retrieve my lost limb!
* eric_sleator is too stupid to know that he cannot fly, and so he flies up and gets his leg. He then secures it in its proper place (amazingly, pointing in the right direction!) with duct tape
Stupid_Ghost: Tonight, I have come to teach you all the true meaning of . . . um . . . er . . .
Stupid_Ghost: . . . I forget.
Balanthalus: S_G: Just a wild stab in the dark here, but could you mean the true meaning of Stupid Day?
Stupid_Ghost: Yeah! Exactly.
Stupid_Ghost: Right. The true meaning of Stupid Day is . . . uh . . .
Stupid_Ghost: Hmm. I seem to be drawing a blank. A little help, someone?
Brunnen_G: Stupidity?
Stupid_Ghost: Oh, hang it. I can't remember anything. I'll just possess someone.
* Stupid_Ghost possesses Balanthalus
Brunnen_G: How do we know you possess Bal, anyway? Do you have a signed receipt?
Balanthalus: Mousie: Ah. That makes sen - GACK!
RinkChat: User Stupid_Ghost has been labeled 'possessing Bal' by Stupid_Ghost.
RinkChat: User Balanthalus has been labeled 'possessed' by Balanthalus.
* Balanthalus throws a brick straight up
Balanthalus: Ouch! Hey! Stop that!
* Balanthalus eats a rock
* Balanthalus gets an acetylene torch.
* eric_sleator shields himself from Balanthalus' pyromania
* Balanthalus wonders if the flame is sufficiently hot
* eric_sleator suggests Balanthalus tests it on his own face
* Stupid_Ghost whispers to Bal's mind "Good idea!"
Balanthalus: Heeelp! Get this ghost out of my body!
* eric_sleator removes Balanthalus' skin, giving the ghost a way of escaping
Brunnen_G: Yep. This is stupid, all right.
RinkChat: User Balanthalus has been labeled 'skinless' by Balanthalus.
* Stephen puts on a proton pack
* Stephen grabs a trap
Stephen: I ain't afraid of no ghosts!
Stephen: Hrm... Bal, stand still
* Stephen takes aim with his proton gun and fires
Balanthalus: Ouch!
Balanthalus: Hey! The ghost alredy left my body!
* Stephen ignores Bal
Stephen: Dangit. That didn't work
Brunnen_G: And it probably REALLY stung. What with him having no skin.
Stephen: Guess we'll need to CROSS THE STREAMS
* Balanthalus snatches his skin back from eric
* Stephen hands Brunnen-G a proton pack/gun
Brunnen_G: Thank you.
Stupid_Ghost: Foolish Mortals. You'll never stop me!
Stephen: Come on BG, we need to CROSS THE STREAMS
* Brunnen_G fires across Stephen's line of fire
* Stupid_Ghost changes its voice to sound like the music of John Tesh.
* Stephen CROSSES THE STREAMS with BG
* Stephen rolls out The Trap and steps on the pedal
* Brunnen_G tries to remember what happened in the movie after that.
Stupid_Ghost: AAAAAAAAAAAUGH!
RinkChat: User Stupid_Ghost has been kicked from the chat room by Stephen.
Stupid_Ghost has left.
Stephen: Yeah!! It's gone!
Balanthalus: Phew. That was close
Darien: Ick. John Tesh music. :-P
Balanthalus: um, how do you get skin back on?
Stephen: Bal: Jeez, use the zipper
Balanthalus: Stephen: Ah, how stupid of me. Hope this possession thing doens't have any ill after-effects.
* Balanthalus zips his skin back up
Balanthalus: But why do I suddenly have the urge to flip off the Mafia?
.
.
.
* Fawcett draws bathwater w/o a pencil.
* Brunnen_G kills eric
* eric_sleator is too stupid to know that he is supposed to die after being murdered, and so he survives
Fawcett: Happy Sputid Day! Doihh, COOL!
Dave: Hey, it's Stupid Day here in RinkWorks' official timezone. Too bad I don't have the power to change the heading.
Darien: Dave: You could call Sam, wake him up, and make him do it. That would be pretty stupid. ;-}
shadowfax: If I were to start calling Dave insulting names and got kicked off, that would be pretty stupid.
* Finchplucker will go brush his teeth with WD-40 in celebration of Stupid Day.
Brunnen_G: At least you can be certain your sinuses won't freeze up or rust.
.
.
.
Finchplucker has left.
Darien has left.
shadowfax has left.
Twonky has left.
Silvercup has left.
Brunnen_G: Oh well.
Brunnen_G: I guess the party is over.
* Brunnen_G cleans up the rubbish and paper plates
* Brunnen_G phones some people to come and get all the water back into the pool and take out the electrical appliances
* Brunnen_G removes eric's severed leg from the chandelier and wraps it up for Sam to give back tomorrow
Brunnen_G: Sheesh. There's ginger ale all over this place.
* Brunnen_G decides Dave can deal with that tomorrow.
Brunnen_G: I wonder if Fawcett remembered to tell Riff he left his ferret-reviving machine here.
Brunnen_G: I guess if Fawcett tells Nyperold, then Nyp can tell Riff next time he sees him.
Darien has entered.
Brunnen_G: Oh, good. You can clean up all this ginger ale.
Darien: Heh. Not I.
Brunnen_G: Oh? I thought all ginger ale related incidents were your fault.
Darien: *Everything* is my fault. But that doesn't mean I'm going to fix it. ;-}
Brunnen_G: On the other hand, this isn't my chat room. I guess I'll leave it all for Sam to clean up tomorrow.
.
.
.
Radebur has entered.
Radebur: since its stupid day i think i should be hear!!!
Radebur: yay yay yay aya!
Radebur: happy suypdt day!!!!!!!
Radebur: whooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!
* Radebur has drinken two much champain
Radebur: lol~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Radebur: LOLOLOLO!
Radebur: were is every1????
Radebur: heloooooooooooooo?
Radebur: d00d u guyz are all lame and werid
Radebur: its stupid day!!!!!!
Radebur: lalalaalallalalala
Radebur: im gonna sing a song!!!!
Radebur: 0 stupid day 0 stupid day
Radebur: how great and crazy and stupid are you
Radebur: you have no equal, you are really dumb
Radebur: i like to lick my thumb
Radebur: sometimes i can be a pain
Radebur: but 0verall, i like champain!!!!!
Radebur: lol!!!!!
Radebur: i cant sing very good!!
Radebur: roflolol!
Radebur: =)
Radebur: laol
Radebur: by all!!!
Radebur has left.
That was the last of the Stupid Day conversation until late morning on
the 21st:
Stephen has entered.
Stephen: HAPPY STUPID DAY!!!!!!1
Stephen: Dang. Nobody's here
Sam has entered.
Sam: Is that the problem? I've been wishing people in the chat room a Happy Stupid Day all day, and I was beginning to get really peeved that no one returned the greeting.
Stephen: That could be it
.
.
.
Balanthalus: Happy Stupid Day everyone.
Stephen: Happy Stupid Day!!!!!!
Sam: Happy Sputid Day!
Mousie: Hapyp Sputdi Yad!
RinkChat: User Balanthalus has been labeled 'Stupid' by Balanthalus.
Balanthalus: I just did laundry. Chocolate syrup works as a detergent, right?
Stephen: Only if you put in some whipped cream
Balanthalus: Crud. I used SHAVING cream.
Stephen: Oh dang. At least your clothes won't be hairy!
Balanthalus: Would it help if I covered them in whipped cream after they're dry?
Stephen: Couldn't hurt!
Mousie: After they're dry, you have to fold them very carefully with a paper shredder.
Balanthalus: Um, I don't have a paper shredder. What should I fold them with?
Sam: A buzz saw?
Balanthalus: Hmm, I don't have that either
Sam: You got me. I don't think there's any other way to do it.
Balanthalus: I have a pair of toenail clippers
Sam: Silly Balanthalus. Toenail clippers are for clipping clothes. Hence the name.
Sam: You could, though, I suppose, clip your clothes until they conform to the geometric specifications of folded clothes...
Balanthalus: Gosh. This is all pretty confusing
Sam: Why do you find confusing attractive?
Balanthalus: Don't you like women too?
Sam: heheheheh. Ok, that can't go in the archive. I'm too chicken.
Balanthalus: Aw, c'mon. That was the only possible answer I could've given
Speedball has entered.
Balanthalus: Hi Beedspall
Speedball has left.
Balanthalus: Oh, by the way, tonight I might possibly be going on something that maybe could be construed as something resembling a psuedo-date. Any suggestions for the occasion?
Balanthalus: (Note the bold, categorical statement)
Balanthalus: I'll have to read "How to be Romantic" again
Ghost of Sam: Sure. Wear holey bell-bottoms and liederhosen and be sure to compliment your date on her stringy hair and pallid complexion.
Mousie: Try the submarine races.
Mousie: Go bowling and use tennis balls. Or play tennis and use bowling balls.
Balanthalus: WOW! I would have never thought of that on my own. Just shows how stupid I am. Thanks!
Stephen: Oh dang. I've got to work.
* Stephen hops on his tricycle and rides away
Stephen has left.
Sam: Oh no!! I've forgotten how to type!!
Sam: Oh, wait...never mind.
Speedball has entered.
Speedball: Hello all
Sam: Olleh Beetspall! Doihh, COOL!
Speedball has left.
.
.
.
Mousie: I think that the promastication of the accelleration for today's rincandation will be sussudinorily planicated.
Balanthalus: I agree. Wholeheartedly.
Sam: That chastisement is not to be contraindicated, surely.
Mousie: Only when the illegitimazation of it becomes too malapropable.
Sam: I was with you for a moment there, Mousie, but what the HECK does 'only' mean?
Mousie: But that doesn't happen very often, as you know.
Balanthalus: Irregardless, you're correct.
Balanthalus: By the way, I hope the use of "irregardless" warrants a kick on any day but today.
Sam: You are correct. The proper term is 'disirregardless'.
Mousie: Supposedly, it's the olny way to figure out what will perfunctorily altercate things all the sudden.
Sam: Transcendentally speaking, of course.
Balanthalus: I just went outside, and literally froze my face off.
.
.
.
Kelly: I wonder...If I stick my head in the back of my monitor, will the screen look reversed?
Ghost of Kelly: Yup. I was right. It does look reversed. Hmmm...I feel funny....
.
.
.
Kelly: I wanted to see the lunar eclipse last night, but when I went outside, I couldn't even see the moon. It was all dark and shadowy. What a jip.
Kelly: I can't wait until the next solar eclipse. I have my 250X telescope ready to aim at the sun.
Kelly: I bought my cat a new toy. It's a full grown Rottweiler. I don't think he likes it.
Stephen: I just opened a bunch of mail using my teeth
Stephen: The worst part is, I accidentally ate a check
Stephen: Actually, it wasn't much of an accident
Stephen: It wouldn't have happened at all had I not busted the letter opener trying to trim my toe nails
Stephen: Of course, how was I to know that I was supposed to use the sharp end?
Sam: I problem that have, too. People tell always me, 'Use the sharp letter end of the opener,' but it just keeps going up one ear and down the other.
Stephen: And then when I got really mad that it wasn't working, I sort of threw the opener at my monitor
Stephen: And now there's this big weirdly colored spot on my monitor... hrmph.
Mousie: Next time you should try a can opener.
Stephen: Ohhh... yeah, that makes sense!
Stephen: I should write this down, but I don't have a pen. Maybe if I were to chew on this ink cartridge I can write with my tongue...
Mousie: You should try to write with your tongue on that frozen metal flagpole out there.
A chill wind blows through the room...bumps into the wall and falls down....
Stephen: Hrm, well, I'm taking off again for a bit
Stephen: I'm going to try driving without using my feet
Stephen has left.
Mousie: My feet are cold. I wish the wind would get up off the floor.
Kelly: I went to the police station yesterday and walked right up to desk sergeant. I told him I wanted to turn myself in. He asked what for. I said, "Assault" and punched him in the nose.
Mousie: Was he Sergeant Pepper?
Mousie: Since you were a salt.
Kelly: I think so. He *was* lonely.
Mousie: I never did get that. It's a lonely hearts, club, band. What happened to the spades and diamonds?
Mousie: I like to call a spade a spayed.
Mousie: Of course, around here, the way everybody gets buried, we were probably using all the spades.
Kelly: Actually, I used a small garden trowel. ;-)
Mousie: How can you dig with a trowel? Dry off with one, sure. Even snap it at your friends after gym class, but dig?
Sam: You put a spade inside the trowel and then dig.
Kelly: "My motto, as I live and learn, is to dig, and be dug in return" - - Langston Hughes
Sam: So anyway, Kelly, I have a jackknife, but every time I open it up and apply the least bit of pressure on what I'm trying to cut, it snaps closed again. What am I doing wrong?
Mousie: You should hold the BLADE end in your hand. That always works for me.
Kelly: I find holding it by the blade (and not the handle) alleviates that problem.
Kelly: Dang! Mousie beat me to it!
Mousie: Squeeze it reeeeaaalll tight, too.
Sam: I'll try it.
Sam: That didn't work. The handle is in serious need of sharpening. Also, I'm mortally wounded.
Kelly: So I bought my kids cap-guns for Christmas. I told they should play with them only in a safe place...like a bank or a police station.
Sam: You can't get much safer than that! Those places are very well secured.
Kelly: I bought myself one of those fake police badges. For kicks, I'm going to go find a crack-house and bust it. I should probably take one of those cap-guns with me, in case there's any trouble.
Sam: Sounds good to me. Just make sure the crack house is in a bank or a police station.
Kelly: Right you are! Safety first!
Kelly: Last night, my girlfriend comes in and says, "What chat room is that? RinkWorks?" I said, "No, penthouse.com. You got a problem with that?" I sure do miss her.
Sam: Well, it's about time for me to leave. We're going to Connecticut for the weekend. It's a three hour drive, so I figure it can't be more than four or five hours' walk, and that way we save gas and aren't as likely to get in an accident on the icy roads.
Mousie: Sam, you are a good planner. Don't forget to stick your thumb out at passing cars just to let them know everything's looking up!
Kelly: Hope your passport is current. Don't forget to get Connecticut currency as soon as you cross the border.
Mousie: Yeah, and when you see a state trooper, point your cap gun at him to let him know you're on his side!
Sam has left.
Kelly: I welded the doors shut on my car so I'd have to climb in and out like The Dukes of Hazzard. Now I wish I'd rolled the windows down too.
.
.
.
Kelly: Did anybody here know that you're not supposed to take Preparation-H orally? Thank God they had the warning on the tube.
Grasshoppa: Did you know that you can shrink your puffy under eyes with Preparation H?
Kelly: Well, I rubbed my whole face with it once. Figured it work just as well as a facelift, and save me a lot of money too!
Kaz: .....hmmmm, I wonder if this nice little electric pencil shapener will be friends with my index finger
Kaz: OWWWWWW
Kaz: I'll be right back, need to get a band-aid
Kaz: ....just for that I think that I'll poke it to death!!!!!
Kaz: ...I wonder why everytime I use that pencil shapener it makes my moniter go 'wavy'
Mousie: I wonder why every time I use my blowdryer, my hair gets dry.
Kaz: It does! Really? Never worked for me......
Kaz: Oh, wait, maybe if I put this little switch to on.....
.
.
.
Dave has entered.
Dave: It's Stupid Day! Everybody be STUPID!
Kelly: I went to court today and had my name legally changed to "Screw you, pig." I can't wait to get pulled over!
Mousie: Kelly, that's cool! I changed mine to "Kick Me Hard."
Mousie: I'm going to put it on the backs of all my baseball shirts!
Kelly: I'm going to invent a re-breather. You know one of those things that turns carbon dioxide into breatheable air? I'm going to start with a hose and the exhaust from my car.
Kelly: My biggest dream as a child was to be a Navy SEAL. Then I found out that balancing a ball on your nose wasn't in the program.
Kelly: I found the cutest kitten yesterday. He's gray with a pointed snout and a long, thin, bare tail. My friend says it's a rat, but if it's a rat, why does it like to nibble my ear so much?
Kelly: I really want to research my genealogy, and dig up all kinds of dirt on my family, but it's way too expensive. I can get the same results by just running for office.
Mousie: I had a good stupidity last night, but I forgot it.
Kelly: I like to call 911 when I'm lonely. They'll always talk to you. If they think you have hostages, that is.
Kelly: I bought a new computer last week. To heck with all that Pentium II or III. The salesman sold me a Pentium 8080.
Stephen: Wow!!!! Yeah, I got one, with 68 thousand memory!!!
Stephen: My friends were all "I've got 256." and I said "I've got 68 K"
Stephen: They started laughing, but I know they were jealous
Kelly: Oh yeah? Does yours play cassettes too? Didn't think so...
Stephen: Kelly: Nah. But I've got a computer that uses these super neato cards with holes in them
Stephen: It's like a CD, only it can't get scratched!!!
Kelly: Oh yeah? Mine takes up a whole room and has these sweet vacuum tubes!
Stephen: A whole room!? Man, that must be awesome
Kelly: Yeah, it can even add four digit numbers in less than 5 minutes.
Mousie: I need a haircut. Does anyone have a weedwacker?
Stephen: Mousie: I do. Actually, I think it's a lawn mower
Mousie: That would probably work better, I guess. Except around the edges.
Marvin: How about a chainsaw?
Kelly: Mousie: I have a Flo-Bee you can borrow. It still has some dog hair in it though.
Mousie: Okay, but I don't have a vacuum to hook it up to, so I guess I'll just have to suck real hard.
Stephen: Hey, Darien sucks real hard!
Kelly: You're supposed to use a vacuum? Oops.
.
.
.
Trunks_SSJ4: 1, 2, 3, 4, i declare an op war
RinkChat: User Trunks_SSJ4 has been kicked from the chat room by Stephen.
RinkChat: User Trunks_SSJ4 has been kicked from the chat room by Mousie.
Trunks_SSJ4 has left.
.
.
.
Mousie: If Jeffrey Dahmer was a serial killer, how come he ate people instead of Wheaties?
Kelly: I remember my SAT's. I cheated by copying off the guy next to me. I wish he hadn't been taking the ACT.
Mousie: I cheated on my driving exam off the guy next to me. Man, I hated it when the road narrowed to one lane.
Dumb Day is coming...
Marvin: Dumb Day?
Stephen: Dumb Day?
Trunks_SSJ4: Dumb Day?
famous: Ohhh...another day!
Ghost of Sam: Eh, just teasing you guys.
Stephen: You'd better be, Sam
Ghost of Sam: I don't think I could handle another holiday so soon. This one was exhausting to prepare for.
Ghost of Sam: Ok, gotta go. Bye all! I gotta go pitch the tent on the roof. It's really windy today, and icy and snowy and stuff, so I figured this would be a good time to go camping on the roof. I'm having a real hard time pounding the stakes in, though, so I need to get to work. Later!
.
.
.
Finchplucker: Mousie: Hello?
Mousie: Sorry. I got out some frozen orange juice to make and it said "concentrate" so I've been paying attention to that, not here. What's up?
.
.
.
Ydobon: 6 minutes until Stupid Day ends..
ladadadada: 6 Minutes ! we'd better get stupid, quick !
ladadadada: Stupid Rules ! Yay for Stupid !
Ydobon: Five.
ladadadada: Yay Yay yay yay ayay
ladadadada: hey, wait a minute...
ladadadada: it's only 4pm here...
* ladadadada feels stupid for celebrating stupid day on the wrong day...
ladadadada: What time is it where Sam is ?
Finchplucker: Almost midnight, where Sam is.
RinkChat: User Ydobon has been labeled 'stoopid' by Ydobon.
* Ydobon stands on his head.
* Ydobon stands on spleen
ladadadada: Well, I spose that's it, no more stupid day...
Radebur has entered.
Radebur: d1d i miss STUPID DAY!!!?
Radebur: 1 like STUPID DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Radebur: isnt that stupid!!!?!?!
Back to the RinkChat Archives.